longlegs Review

[Westside Steve]

Longlegs

Neon

R.          121 min

 

 

Hopefully I'm not giving anything away by recounting my conversation they fellow theater patron at the end of this flick. I had been told by one of the employees at the Lake 8 that he, like I, had heard this film was truly terrifying. Also I'd seen the trailers and they seemed really creepy. So the gentleman and I were expecting something pretty shocking. Our conversation after the film ended was it amused look at each other a chuckle , when we said simultaneously “what a piece of shit.”  Indeed it was and even though nobody was expecting a comedy I got at least one laugh and that was at myself for buying into the ad. I know I should have known better. I guess I'm just one of those trusting souls. In all honesty it does start out a little bit creepy with an FBI forensic investigator being assigned to look into a series of gruesome and unexplained murders. Most of them had something in common and that was that a seemingly normal family member or friend just goes berserk at butcher's everybody in a closed location. That means that the idea that the killer got in through a window or a door isn't really an option. Now the investigator is blessed with a photographic memory and that comes in handy for the skeptical FBI members. It's not long before she and the entire audience get the idea that there's a demon at work here. So for anyone who's ever seen an exorcist movie we know that demons are good at getting in and out of human bodies especially when they've been invited. Well that's what's happened here. About the only thing there is to be curious about is to what reason the demon has to perpetrate all this evil upon so many innocent victims. Well, it is actually a demons job, and that's kind of their responsibility right? It must be a union thing. So since we pretty much know what's going on from early in the film it makes the rest of the movie seem even more boring than it is if that's possible. By the way to take even more mystery out of this dog the investigator's mom, a very devout Bible thumping woman, was also involved in one of these situations where everybody in the family, well except for the investigator, wound up bloody and at room temperature. So there are scenes throughout the flick where mom, who's in the looney bin, tries to save her daughter's soul during their visits. So are you wondering where the name long legs came from yet? Well there's a drifter, kind of a Wandering Minstrel who ingratiates himself to families all across the, well, wherever this takes place. He's creepy, ugly, smelly and blessed with a terrible singing voice and obviously possessed by the devil. (I was going to mention one of my old band mate) One  might have wondered how he ingratiated himself to normal people but by that time I'd given up caring about anything except when this turn was going to be over. Also to make matters worse the whole thing is in flashback, really sloppy erratic flashback, so it begins with the actual climax.

D-

WSS

[LogicIsForSquares]

The Mrs and I watched this the other night. What a turd of a movie. It had bones to be something ok even if it would have been a retread Silence of the Lambs, but they shit the bed hard haha.