Zombo Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 The Great Zombini, the greatest football prognosticator in the history of Browns fandom, is back for another year with his "crystal clear crystal ball", Zelda the Wonderdawg, and Zoey, my new assistant. The Great Zomboni Zelda the WonderDawg Zoey the Intern Together we shall provide the most accurate analysis of the AFC North available on the Interwebs. Here is how the first week shall be written: Buffalo at Baltimore, Sunday, 1:00 PM The Great Zomboni feels that both of these teams will greatly disappoint their fan bases this year, but someone has to win this one, so we are going with the home team. RAVENS 24 BILLS 20 Cincinnati at New York Jets, Sunday 1:00 PM The Jets have a nice veteran feel this year, and a tough as nails defensive head coach ... they will make some noise in the AFC. The Bungles are great at making noise, bad at winning in January. And this week, they will be bad at winning in September too. Miss Hue much? JETS 34 BUNGLES 20 Cleveland at Philadelphia, Sunday, 1:00 PM This one should be over quickly as the Eagles have decided to throw Carson Wentz to the wolves. Wentz is fresh off a Missouri Valley Conference roster with a grand total of 38 mostly bad preseason NFL snaps. Ray Horton's aggressive D should eat the rookie alive, and Robert Griffin III should have fun with his new toys: Terrelle Pryor and Corey Coleman BROWNS 30 EAGLES 7 Pittsburgh at Washington, 7:30 PM, Monday Night Football Lots of talk about the Steelers being favorites to go to the Super Bowl this year. TGZ laughs out loud. Zelda laughs so hard she chokes on her Milkbone. Zoey laughs so hard she gets a black eye. A highly questionable defense, a running back who can't stay on the field, and perhaps the greatest gap between starting QB and backup in the NFL ... one hit to the head and Bozo the Clown is your QB for two weeks. Ya, sounds like a Super Bowl recipe. Anyway, the Redskins are similarly built, all offense, no D .. but Kirk Cousins should get the home win with some great weapons and a rabid crowd behind him. REDSKINS 33 STEELERS 27 TGZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 **2015** Results ... Prev .... This ..... YTDStraight-up ........... 39-21 ..... 4-0 .... 43-21Vs. the spread ..... 33-26-1 .. 2-2 .... 35-28-1 Pittsburgh @ Washington (+3.0) I believe Pittsburgh's talent at best tread water this year. They were so impressed with their rookie CBs they drafted in round one and two that they traded for Gilbert. Additionally their stealth WR, Bryant is not available for the year. Still the team is about as good as last year's, but that team includes Bell and he ain't around the first three weeks. With their 4-game win streak into the 2015 playoffs, Washington may have as much momentum as any team coming into 2016. I think it shows in this game even although reality sets in down the line. Prediction: WSH 34 PTG 24 Final: Cincinnati @ NYJ (+2.5) I thought the Jets overachieved last year... then for some reason they screwed around resigning one of the major reasons they were able to overachieve. Makes no sense to help insure you regress. The loss of WRs Jones and Sanu to FA endangered the Bengals' status as the most balanced team in the AFCN... but they still are. Between suspensions and injuries they may never be more vulnerable than they are in Week 1. But they are playing the Jets... Prediction: CIN 20 NYJ 13 Final: Buffalo @ Baltimore (-3.0) The self-proclaimed, winners of the off-season vs. the AFCN's hot mess... I'd rather watch a B-movie. Tyrod will be the difference. Prediction: BUF 30 BLT 13 Final: Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-4.0) 2016 feels like the year of the inexperienced QB... Siemian... Prescott... Wentz??? Not really feeling Carson here, but don't see him being a drag on his team like I do Garropollo (Garro? Polo!) But I digress... With a run game, an O-Line and a D, Wentz does not have to excel to beat us... just not shit the bed. On our side we have youth... but not our #1 WR's... Prediction: PHI 27 CLE 17 Final: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 picking against the Browns. Not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gumby73 Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Holy Hell Z, I will get to the AFCN predictions but congrats on the new intern smokin hot Zoey..She's got my vote for your finest so far. I have totally lost game day focus ..We do expect updated Zoey pics weekly & does she do Game day in White Lace home games & Leather on the road? Now that's what I call "WInning"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombo Posted September 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Holy Hell Z, I will get to the AFCN predictions but congrats on the new intern smokin hot Zoey..She's got my vote for your finest so far. I have totally lost game day focus ..We do expect updated Zoey pics weekly & does she do Game day in White Lace home games & Leather on the road? Now that's what I call "WInning"!! It was a long, grueling interview process this year, so many qualified candidates with so many interesting qualities, but in the end, Zoey stacked up the best. Z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StinkHole Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Holy Hell Z, I will get to the AFCN predictions but congrats on the new intern smokin hot Zoey..She's got my vote for your finest so far. I have totally lost game day focus ..We do expect updated Zoey pics weekly & does she do Game day in White Lace home games & Leather on the road? Now that's what I call "WInning"!! Oh please..one pic was enough..big tits are gross. Me and my assistants! lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Oh please..one pic was enough..big tits are gross. Me and my assistants! lol.. Are they still playing guess what's under the zipper over there in Pittsburgh? Which one of your boy friends is Vag? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombo Posted September 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Oh please..one pic was enough..big tits are gross. Ya, I figured you as more of scrotum guy. Zombo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Tell Zoey I hope her eye gets better soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Post Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Tell Zoey the intern I want to move where she's at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Post Posted September 10, 2016 Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 Are they still playing guess what's under the zipper over there in Pittsburgh? Which one of your boy friends is Vag?Where in fuck does he work at? The mall? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjp28 Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 picking against the Browns. Not good. I could never bet $$$ against the BROWNS, OHIO STATE or ND they'd screw me every time. And what's Zoey for, if Z gets tired and wants a nap? Yuk, yuk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbedward Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Bills 24 Ravens 20 Browns 27 Eagles 24 Redskins 24 Steelers 17 Bengals 30 Jets 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Post Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Ravens by 3 Skins by 3 Jets by 6 Browns in OT goddamner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickers Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 birds 21 bills 17 Stools 20 skins 14 jets 30 bungholios 27 Browns 17 iggles 10 Thats all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjp28 Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 CLEVELAND +4 should be good might even win 27-24 OT? CINCINNATI -2' over the Jets by 5 BALTIMORE -3 doesn't cover vs Buffalo PITTSBURGH -3 gets surprised by Washington in DC close 1 point game And I like da' Bears +6 vs Houston, believe it or not Minnesota -2' at Tennessee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gumby73 Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Vs. the spread ..... Zoey Wins!! Pittsburgh @ Washington (+3.0) 23---------27 Cincinnati @ NYJ (+2.5) 20------23 Buffalo @ Baltimore (-3.0) 28----31 Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-4.0) 17-----21 To honor Zoey's internship, Lets just say she loves getting points at home. But nothings better than a good push giving THEM UP at home..Go Browns!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miktoxic Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Tell Zoey I hope her eye gets better soon... keep trying to look at her eyes but those things keep getting in the way. god i love tits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudfly Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Pittsburgh @ Washington (+3.0) This one is easy.....Steelers bite, so they will lose.....(THAT is REAL football predicting)...... Final: Washington 31 - Stools 3 Cincinnati @ NYJ (+2.5) 2 extra shitty teams that always find a way to look good, while sucking.....(NFL porn stars)....Bungles missed their chance last season and the spiral starts now! Final: NYJ 28 - BUNGLES 24 Buffalo @ Baltimore (-3.0) Rob & Ron.....nuff said... Final: Rapists 57 - Bills 10 Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-4.0) Gotta go with my heart on this one.....just dont see the Browns as "predicted" winners this year....but, lets break all the rules and predict the Browns win an opener....on the road.....yep Browns 20 - Iggles 16..... Which puts us in 1st place baby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Where in fuck does he work at? The mall? Stink epitomizes the Pittsburgh workaholic. You mention the 4 letter word "work" and he just wants to get drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingfooldoug Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Stink epitomizes the Pittsburgh workaholic. You mention the 4 letter word "work" and he just wants to get drunk. Unless it's the packing dept at the local fudge factory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjp28 Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 What a freaking brutal week to try to beat the spread! OAK wins outright on a 2 pt conversion , NE beats AZ in AZ and more with two games left. Teams improve most from week 1 to 2 so do bookmakers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted September 13, 2016 Report Share Posted September 13, 2016 Pittsburgh @ Washington (+3.0) Prediction: WSH 34 PTG 24 Final: PTG 38 WSH 16 - L/L Cincinnati @ NYJ (+2.5) Prediction: CIN 20 NYJ 13 Final: CIN 23 NYJ 22 - W/L Buffalo @ Baltimore (-3.0) Prediction: BUF 30 BLT 13 Final: BLT 13 BUF 7 - L/L Cleveland @ Philadelphia (-4.0) Prediction: PHI 27 CLE 17 Final: PHI 27 CLE 10 - W/W **2016 Week 1** ... Prev .... This ..... YTDStraight-up ........... 00-00 ..... 2-2 .... 2 - 2Vs. the spread ..... 00-00 ..... 1-3 .... 1 - 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.