Beijing Hotel Brochure

[DieHardBrownsFan]

 

Now This Is My Kind Of Holiday. The Manager Sounds Like Someone I Knew

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….

Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

 

The hotel:

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

 

The Restaurant:

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

 

Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

 

Bed

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

 

Above all:

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."

[Stewy]

Below are from an old list I have of "intercultural marketing messes". These are ads from American companies that when translated into foreign languages are pretty funny.

 

Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi generation" slogan translated to "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave" in Chinese.

 

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany to find out "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many had use for the "manure stick".

 

Frank Perdue's chicken slogan "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was erroneously translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".

 

The Coca-Cola name in China was first read in Chinese as "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent..."ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth".

[Erie Dawg]

LoL,Manure stick.... isn't that what woody calls his unit?