Old Dogs Review

[Westside Steve]

Old Dogs

PG 13 88 min

 

 

Gang I was surprised that Disney’s A CHRISTMAS CAROL wasn’t great bit let me tell ya I’m downright shocked that Mickey Pluto and the gang let this stinker off the shelf.

Hey I know Black Friday is around the corner and mom and dad might want to drop the kids off for a couple hours to shop or drink or see their boy or girlfriends.

This one looks like a pretty good choice right? Hey John Travolta Robin Williams Bernie Mac and Matt Dillon? Disney? Geeze its title even rhymes with the successful and funny WILD HOGS not to mention the same director, Walter Becker!

Trust me friends, despite the A list cast; somebody here must surely have lost a bet.

There’s so much bad here it’s hard to tell where to begin. Let’s start with the story.

Sure you should expect to suspend reality a bit in any movie but this one is too bogus to pretend to buy.

Dan and Charlie (Williams and Travolta) are two business partners and best friends looking to wrap up a big account with a Japanese firm. It turns out that many years ago Dan got drunk and married (and divorced) some random dame (a haggard looking Kelly Preston) in a quickie ceremony. So apparently she’s had his twins but never sought him out until she needs a babysitter for her two-week stay in jail. (Don’t worry it’s for some stupid politically correct civil disobedience.)

If this is a kids’ movie they won’t get it and adults won’t believe it.

Now the charisma-free tots run rampant through the bachelor pad and offices to set up some of the most humorless slapstick I’ve ever seen. Seriously how many episodes of AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS do you have to watch until a golf ball in the crotch loses all it’s comic appeal?

The whole idea is that Dan is going to bond with his new found family, but there seems to be no rhyme nor reason by the time that it happens and nary a laugh. Well, one small chuckle early on as Charlie tries to pick up a waitress in a family restaurant but it’s soon forgotten)

The camera work accentuates Williams’ puffy sweaty visage and he and Travolta turn in their worst performances since TOYS and BATTLEFIELD EARTH.

This one joins DUMB AND DUMBER and CASSYSHACK 2 on my list of the worst comedies ever made.

 

F+

 

WSS

 

Email westsidesteve@aol.com

[allotmepohype]

something like that. I just didnt want something that could be seen as a rip-off of Ebert and Roeper. I wanted something more structured. Two different methods of doing the same review. Not just a pro and con review, but a review based on one criteria and another based on completely different criteria - not two dissenting reviews based on the same criteria. They might dissent, but they should cover the movie from different angles. That way if both say it sucks, you can be pretty sure it really does suck. :laugh:

[Westside Steve]

something like that. I just didnt want something that could be seen as a rip-off of Ebert and Roeper. I wanted something more structured. Two different methods of doing the same review. Not just a pro and con review, but a review based on one criteria and another based on completely different criteria - not two dissenting reviews based on the same criteria. They might dissent, but they should cover the movie from different angles. That way if both say it sucks, you can be pretty sure it really does suck. :laugh:

 

 

Well that's hard to do. It isn't objective and can't be.

Hell I lnow guys who loved Dumb and Dumber.

And there really aren't any hard and fast criteria in art.

 

But I f&cking hated it!

 

WSS

[Kosar_For_President]

This one joins DUMB AND DUMBER and CASSYSHACK 2 on my list of the worst comedies ever made.

 

Steve you are officially off your rocker, Dumb and Dumber is one of the best comedies. What is wrong with you. Sorry I guess they can't all be the English Patient.