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Paranormal Activity Review


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Paranormal Activity

Paramount

R 99 min

 

OK

So lets get the giving credit where it’s due part out of the way.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY has grossed a hell of a lot more money than it cost to make it.

Great.

So we’ll compare apples to apples.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY is on par with THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and holds the distinction of being one of the two biggest pieces of over hyped crap to come down the pike in ages. As a matter of fact, for those who get giddy over the fact that both these turds had a relatively small budget, may I suggest you sit down and view a few hours of my parents’ travelogue videotapes from their trip to Mexico? Besides the plane and bus fare the cost was nearly nothing and the ten-minute shot of the furniture in their room at the Hotel Americana is as thrilling as anything you’ll find in either of the aforementioned dogs.

Why even mention BLAIR WITCH besides the fact they both suck out loud?

Because this one seems to be getting the same pass from misguided fans and critics, since it was cheap and brought in lots of money. So did the Pet Rock.

Yep, it was cheap. It shows. If the Cleveland Orchestra hired sixty-eight monkeys they’d be able to pay them with bananas, but I’ll bet Beethoven’s Fifth would sound like holy hell.

Oh and supposedly this stinker is based on or inspired by a true story.

BFD. Guess what? If you don’t know what happens and you make something up, it’s called bullsh.., uh, fiction.

Bottom line is that there is absolutely no reason to see PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

If co-star Katie Featherston would have flashed once or twice for that omnipresent camera I’d have added a + to the grade, but sadly that R rating is solely due to a smattering of F bombs. Like the ones I was uttering upon leaving the theater.

F

 

WSS

 

Email westsidesteve@aol.com

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Wow. Steve it's not that bad. Your really mad about this aren't you. Have you ever made a movie?

 

 

Mad?

Kos this is my opinion.

 

There's nothing true about it and it didn't scare me.

It bored me to tears and I don't care how much it made.

 

Plenty of critics with bigger salaries than mine disagreed with me.

Oh well.

If you enjoyed it what can I say?

 

I think Elvis Costello is a genius though I don't love every album.

YOu don't agree.

Doesn't mean you're mad or crazy.

 

Oh and no.

I've never made a movie, not a real one anyway.

So what?

WSS

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