TexasAg1969 Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 LESSONS LEARNED FROM COVID QUARANTINE: Tomorrow is the National Home-school Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all clear. You’re welcome! I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home-schooled by day drinkers… This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!! Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions! Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them! Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!” Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands??? I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are! Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere. Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this corona virus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions. I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?” When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA? Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammertime Posted April 15, 2020 Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 Funny but old and not related Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBrownsFan Posted April 15, 2020 Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted April 15, 2020 Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 LOL DAng, DH, I'll bet that hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorka Posted April 16, 2020 Report Share Posted April 16, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorka Posted April 16, 2020 Report Share Posted April 16, 2020 Hey Tex, Um..we are in the midst of a pandemic, which means there have been lockdowns ordered, which means businesses are shut down, which means people are not working or shopping or traveling, which means there are no fucking cars on the road dimwit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted April 16, 2020 Report Share Posted April 16, 2020 Tex's post shows that liberals are fine with slurs, etc... but people on the other political side - if they ever say much of anything, somehow liberals will fake outrage, like woodpecker does, and raise hell about it. THEY need safe spaces. But Real Americans aren't allowed to be safe. It makes liberals very happy when they can control narratives, and stop the ones that don't make them happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted April 16, 2020 Report Share Posted April 16, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted April 16, 2020 Report Share Posted April 16, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasAg1969 Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 Newly discovered chapter in H.G. Well's Time Machine: “Also, mention his name a lot. Otherwise, he won’t even read it.” 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasAg1969 Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 22 hours ago, Gorka said: which means there are no fucking cars on the road dimwit. Obviously you have a different kind of lockdown. Here a lot of people are allowed to do business outside the stores with drive-through orders. People wear masks (sometimes homemade) and wear some kind of gloves. Grocers, hardware, auto repair, gas stations and many others considered essential are open, so there are plenty of cars on the road. Same for takeout restaurant lines. Most are doing very good business from those who don't want to chance grocery store exposure even more than takeout. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldBrownsFan Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 6 minutes ago, TexasAg1969 said: Newly discovered chapter in H.G. Well's Time Machine: “Also, mention his name a lot. Otherwise, he won’t even read it.” 5 Obama shatters previous record, mentions himself 467 times in one speech in Berlin 😄 http://tmp.americanthinker.com/blog/2019/04/obama_shatters_previous_record_mentions_himself_467_times_in_one_speech_in_berlin.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 10 minutes ago, TexasAg1969 said: Obviously you have a different kind of lockdown. Here a lot of people are allowed to do business outside the stores with drive-through orders. People wear masks (sometimes homemade) and wear some kind of gloves. Grocers, hardware, auto repair, gas stations and many others considered essential are open, so there are plenty of cars on the road. Same for takeout restaurant lines. Most are doing very good business from those who don't want to chance grocery store exposure even more than takeout. Dorka lives in a mental institution.🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorka Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 3 hours ago, TexasAg1969 said: Obviously you have a different kind of lockdown. Here a lot of people are allowed to do business outside the stores with drive-through orders. People wear masks (sometimes homemade) and wear some kind of gloves. Grocers, hardware, auto repair, gas stations and many others considered essential are open, so there are plenty of cars on the road. Same for takeout restaurant lines. Most are doing very good business from those who don't want to chance grocery store exposure even more than takeout. Same as in Ohio. Aside from the notably reduced traffic during the day, there are no more morning rush hours, nor are there anymore traffic jams going in and out of the city. It's been free wheeling here in Cleveland. Good time to do road work. How about where you live? Traffic jams still? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorka Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 3 hours ago, DieHardBrownsFan said: Dorka lives in a mental institution.🤣 A loser like you either lives in your 1980's car or on the street in a cardboard box, which is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 46 minutes ago, Gorka said: A loser like you either lives in your 1980's car or on the street in a cardboard box, which is it? I live in your head. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorka Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 15 minutes ago, DieHardBrownsFan said: I live in your head. You wish it were that.. I simply call out trolls and assholes like you, and you happen to be the only one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 https://www.theblaze.com/news/the-biden-campaign-invited-people-to-make-their-own-team-joe-memes-it-did-not-go-as-planned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 then there is twitter, SUSPENDING the account of the conservative guy who made the funny memes. yep. Like the newspaper that changed their biden sex assault story... because the Biden campaign complained..... https://www.redstate.com/jenvanlaar/2020/04/17/twitter-suspends-prominent-conservative-for-using-joe-bidens-meme-maker/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 11 hours ago, DieHardBrownsFan said: I live in your toilet. Fixed that for ya 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 9 hours ago, Axe said: Fixed that for ya Boy, you sure are the clever one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted April 18, 2020 Report Share Posted April 18, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted April 19, 2020 Report Share Posted April 19, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted April 19, 2020 Report Share Posted April 19, 2020 LOL LOL Great to laugh during a crisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted April 19, 2020 Report Share Posted April 19, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted April 19, 2020 Report Share Posted April 19, 2020 LOL. Oh, that one is one of the best ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted April 20, 2020 Report Share Posted April 20, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasAg1969 Posted April 20, 2020 Report Share Posted April 20, 2020 More stuff from wife's Cornell friend stuck in a small NYC apartment: Where is your next travel destination? > - Las Kitchenas > - Los Lounges > - Santa Bedroomes > - Porto Gardenas > - Los Bed > - Costa del Balconia > - St Bathroom > - La Rotonda de Sofa Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday! On the bright side, I am no longer calling this shelter-in-place. I am an artist-in-residence. After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my apartment but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason. 2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April. If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face. My Mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by laying in the bed all day, but look at me now! I’m saving the world! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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