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jbluhm86

Coronavirus humor

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7 hours ago, Vambo said:

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One in each eye will help prevent the virus, but you're likely to smother to death if you keep the prevention going too long.😵

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Speaking of our resident cockaholic. why does Woody come to mind here instantly?

 

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What to do with all that toilet paper you have hoarded.😹

 

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*A RECAP OF THE LAST THREE WEEKS*

AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait... what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

OHIO: Whoa... whoa... let’s not be hasty now. The president said that this whole coronavirus thing is a democratic hoax.

CALIFORNIA: He also said that windmills cause cancer. Shut down your state.

TEXAS: But the president said that there are only 15 cases and soon there will be zero.

CALIFORNIA: The president can’t count to fifteen. Nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.

FLORIDA: But what about all these kids here on spring break?? They spend a lot of money here!

CALIFORNIA: Those kids invented the tide pod challenge. Shut down your state.

LOUISIANA: But wait let’s have Mardi Gras first. It entertains people.

CALIFORNIA: It also kills them. Shut it down.

GEORGIA: Ok well how about we keep the state open for all of our mega churches? Maybe we can all pray really hard until the 
coronavirus just goes away!

CALIFORNIA: Which is working like a charm for mass shootings. Jesus told us to tell you to shut down your state.

OKLAHOMA: What about the tigers?

CALIFORNIA: What about a dentist. Shut it down.

WYOMING: Hold up, maybe we should go county by county like the president said.

CALIFORNIA: Stop acting like there are counties in Wyoming. There are no counties in Wyoming. Wyoming is a county. Shut it down.

PENNSYLVANIA: But big coal.

CALIFORNIA: But big death. Shut it.

WEST VIRGINIA: But we were the last state to get coronavirus!

CALIFORNIA: And don’t make us explain to you why that was. Shut it down.

NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... OK fine do what you want.
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has to be embarassing to the liberal "know it all" side of America.

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37 minutes ago, DieHardBrownsFan said:

Image may contain: possible text that says 'Coronavirus entering a veteran's body and finding Anthrax and Smallpox vaccines, exhaust fumes, jet fuel, hydraulic fluid, MEK, asbestos, arthritis, tinnitus, and a shitload of Motrin and alcohol "damn bitch you live like this 2"'

yep, all those airgun vaccinations in basic, exhaust fumes from the B-52s on the flight line parked fairly close to our building...pretty loud taking off if you were outside, one of em was called "thunder turkey" because replacement parts were actually made more precise in current days, and didn't fit the same. seriously. and MEK - methyl something? ketone? strong cleaner of metal parts? right?

 

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2 hours ago, DieHardBrownsFan said:

Image may contain: possible text that says 'Coronavirus entering a veteran's body and finding Anthrax and Smallpox vaccines, exhaust fumes, jet fuel, hydraulic fluid, MEK, asbestos, arthritis, tinnitus, and a shitload of Motrin and alcohol "damn bitch you live like this 2"'

Plus the daily and weekly malaria pills for the year we were in Vietnam. M-16 those little bastards! Put it on rock n roll!🧐👾

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