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This Week in the AFC North

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Well, The Great Zomboni is not one to to toot his own horns, so we are going to to toot Teri Hatcher's horns this week. actually, we will let Elaine do it:

elaine.gif

The "Hatch" was 4-0 straight up and 4-0 versus the spread for her first week ever predicting the AFC North, so we are certainly going to keep her around.

We've got another key AFC North matchup this week, a Monday Night Football battle of first place teams and ... I think the Bengals play this week too. Yep, they do:

Arizona at Cincinnati 1:00 PM

The Bungles are actually favored this week, which is interesting because, of the two teams, Arizona is the only one that looks like it cares right now. Hatch says the Cards will cover but we will give the Bungles the W to make the AFCN look better. BUNGLES 24 CARDINALS 23

Baltimore at Pittsburgh 1:00 PM

It turns out that tales of Baltimore waltzing to the division title were greatly exaggerated. When you start off against Miami and Arizona, you look all badass 'n shit ... then you play real teams. This week's real team is the Steelers coming off a Bungle drubbing and finding their 2019 identity with a blitzing defense and dink and dunk offense. Should be enough to drown the Rats. STEELERS 23 RATBIRDS 20

Cleveland at San Francisco 8:15 PM Monday Night Football

What do a NFC West and an AFC North team have in common? Well, actually they grew up together. They both began in the post-war AAFC where they were in the same division, and the Browns finished first and the 49ers second every year, and then they merged into the NFL together in 1950. That, plus, they were two of the best franchises of the 80's. But the games I remember most were in the 70's and 90's:

December 1st, 1974: I was a ten year old rabid Browns fan living 4 hours away in PA and my Mom guilted my Steeler fan Dad into taking me to see a Browns game. Problem was, It started snowing like hell about the time we hit the Ohio border on I-80. So bad, in fact, that we were forced off the road and pulled into a Pizza Hut in Youngstown and my brother and I dined on our first pie from the pizza chain we had only heard about on TV. It was delicious. Then we drove home and listened on the radio, as Kenny Brown scored the only TD in a an ugly, but beautiful, Browns 7-0 victory that I could only picture in my head.

September 3rd, 1978: So now I'm 14, and I can't wait for the Browns opener that year because it was O.J. Simpson's first game with the 49ers, way back before he was killing people, and I wanted the Browns to shut him down. They did, and it was Greg Pruitt who was the best RB that day, as the Browns won 24-7

September 13th, 1993: The Browns were coming off a couple of hard seasons, but there was a lot of optimism in Bill Belichick's second season at the helm after the Browns dismissed the Bungles with ease the first week and now were hosting the mighty 49ers under the lights in Muni. We weren't supposed to win, as we were still a young team building from the ground up and they were ... well, the 49ers ... and coming off a 14-2 season. But 29 year old TGZ was taking money in the sports bar that the Browns would pull off the upset, and the Brownies delivered ... Matt Stover kicker 4 field goals and Bernie Kosar, now in his "game manager" phase, hit Michael "Hee Hee" Jackson on a 30 yard TD Bomb as the Browns stunned the Niners 23-13 on National TV. That season went to hell .... "Diminishing Skills" and all that, and Kosar, Stover and Belichick all went on to find rings elsewhere ... But for one night, The Great Zomboni was the king of the Sports Page in Naples, Florida .... Pitchers of Bud Light for everybody!

So now ... October 7th, 2019 ... What happens? Well, it turns out that I bought my first crystal ball with all loot that I won at the Sports Page that night, my old XRCB 500 1.0. And we're going to dust that baby off and plug it in and see what it says:

Nick Chubb Channels Kenny Brown & Greg Pruitt and scores on the ground, Baker Mayfield channels Bernie Kosar and hits a streaking Odell "Hee Hee" Beckham for a 30 yard TD, and Sonny Siebert channels Matt Stover and kicks four field goals, while the Browns Defense channels those three units that shut down O.J., Steve Young et al ... add up the three games, divide by two and you'll have your final score: BROWNS 27 49ERS 10

CavernousTerrificKomododragon-size_restr

 

 

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Someday I just might figure out this professional football thing -but- this week I'm going (our pickem lines):

Pittsburgh +3.5 vs Baltimore

And of course in the GAME OF THE WEEK CLEVELAND +3.5 at San Francisco

Plus for fun Chicago -5 at Oakland -and-. Green Bay +3.5 at Dallas.

+3.5 is the magic number this weekend.   :lol:

.........oh and Teri is still a babe!

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word is no JuJu...listed as a full participant in practiced, then said he was barely able to do much. 

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2 hours ago, mjp28 said:

Someday I just might figure out this professional football thing -but- this week I'm going (our pickem lines):

Pittsburgh +3.5 vs Baltimore

And of course in the GAME OF THE WEEK CLEVELAND +3.5 at San Francisco

Plus for fun Chicago -5 at Oakland -and-. Green Bay +3.5 at Dallas.

+3.5 is the magic number this weekend.   :lol:

.........oh and Teri is still a babe!

Can you interpret this by telling us who you think will win?

Nevertheless.....Pussyllaminous Pierre out there somewhere in east Texas says that I don't commit to picking games.  While that is true, it is simply because I just have little interest in doing so, not that I am afraid.  I did used to compete every week in an office pool when I put like a buck or two down, but I left that office, and the pool behind me.  And, like I said, I lost interest otherwise...unless I am in Nevada.  If/when they start up sports betting at casinos in Ohio, I can see taking one week out of the year to go spend a day doing that.    Nevertheless...here for ONE week only, I will give my picks....but I don't deal with fucking point spreads.  

Baltimore at Pittsburgh.  The only bad thing about this game is that they both cannot lose.  Pittsburgh, I think, is the more overall talented team. But I am going to go with the upset here:  Ratfuckers beast Spermsuckers.  Say, 27-20.

Arizona at Cincinnati.   Two of the 4 worst teams in the league (with Miami and Denver).   They give the home team 3 points don't they.   So I go with the home team by 3 points.   Bitchy Pussies over Birds.....10-7.  Though I would prefer the opposite. 

Browns at 49ers.   Z referenced the 1993 game.    I remember that game well.   And I say the score is the same:  Browns 23 49ers 13.

 

Bonus: I also predict that none of the cities that represent the AFCN will make the baseball playoffs:  Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cincinnati.  Oh...you say that has already been decided?  Alright they.

 

 

 

 

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As long as Z has Teri Hatcher helping to make picks.....how about we ask this question:

Who was your favorite actress to have played  Lois Lane?

Teri?

Erica Durance

Margot Kidder

Kate Bosworth

Amy Adams

Bitsie Tulloch   (Supergirl/Flash)

Noel Neill   (from the old TV show)

Phyllis Coates  ...also from old TV

And a bunch who did her voice in animation including:

Dana Delaney...Pauly Perette... Kyra Sedgwick...Ann Heche...and others 

 

My own opinion is that, I think that Teri did the best....though I did like the lady from the old TV show.   Erica Durance....was all tits,  and as beautiful as she and her tits are,  I never envisioned Lois Lane as quite that type.  Almost more girl next door type.  Amy Adams and Kate Bosworth...were OK.  And to be honest, there was just something about Margot Kidder that I just never liked. 

But....I did love Kristin Kreuk as Lana Lang.  She is just fucking gorgeous...but in a subtle way....maybe the half Asian thing:

200px-Lana_Lang_Smallville.jpg

And....I really like that   Annette O'Toole played Lana Lang in the Christopher Reeves movies when she was young....and then came back to play Martha Kent in Smallville.  

So...Z, maybe Kristin can serve as an assistant picker?  Don't want to waste talent like that.

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21 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

Can you interpret this by telling us who you think will win?

The thread is This Week in the AFC North not who will win the games in the AFCN but since you asked:

BAL, CLE, CHI and GB.......and Teri because they're real.

BAL/PIT might come down to a FG.

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10 minutes ago, mjp28 said:

The thread is This Week in the AFC North not who will win the games in the AFCN but since you asked:

Uh...no...you can ask the OP what he intended by the thread.  I don't recall him every saying that we were to pick against the spread, only the winners of the games.

BAL, CLE,

CHI and GB.......How do these teams fit into "this week in the AFC North"?

and Teri because they're real.  (actually, I think that somewhere between Lois and Clark and Desperate Housewives, Teri had a little enhancement happen there.

BAL/PIT might come down to a FG.

Correct me if I am wrong...but above you seem to have said that Baltimore was a 3.5 point favorite over the Steelers, no?  You said Pitt. +3.5.  Does that not mean Balt is favored by 3.5 points?  Which would mean that if they win by a FG, they would not beat the spread?

 

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28 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

1. CHI and GB.......How do these teams fit into "this week in the AFC North"?..?..Q

2. Correct me if I am wrong...but above you seem to have said that Baltimore was a 3.5 point favorite over the Steelers, no?  You said Pitt. +3.5.  Does that not mean Balt is favored by 3.5 points?  Which would mean that if they win by a FG, they would not beat the spread?

.....3..

1.  Bonus picks.

2. It might be a close game so if PIT loses by 3, 2, 1 or tie I still cover, somehow I think BAL might squeak out a win.  I wouldn't bet money on this game.

3. Gip you would make someone a nice wife, picky, picky, picky.    :lol:

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35 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

The thread is This Week in the AFC North not who will win the games in the AFCN but since you asked:

Uh...no...you can ask the OP what he intended by the thread.  I don't recall him every saying that we were to pick against the spread, only the winners of the games.

BAL, CLE,

CHI and GB.......How do these teams fit into "this week in the AFC North"?

and Teri because they're real.  (actually, I think that somewhere between Lois and Clark and Desperate Housewives, Teri had a little enhancement happen there.

BAL/PIT might come down to a FG.

Correct me if I am wrong...but above you seem to have said that Baltimore was a 3.5 point favorite over the Steelers, no?  You said Pitt. +3.5.  Does that not mean Balt is favored by 3.5 points?  Which would mean that if they win by a FG, they would not beat the spread?

Yup, that's why Vegas often sets the odds in 1\2 point increments- so there's no ties in bets.  Ravens have to win by at least 4 to cover. Betting that way is pretty simple + means you're giving the Steelers 3.5 points, a - means subtract that much from the Ravens. There's two teams Washington and the Jets that are 14 point underdogs Sunday. Those lines can get huge in college football. I felt pretty confident taking Miami Ohio and the 40 points against Ohio State, but OSU had the spread covered by halftime. 

I was confused for a long time on how bets get placed on baseball or hockey, they both can have low final scores. So it's done differently there. You're flat out picking the winner. Fer instance in the Yankees Twins game it's, +165, -130.  If you want the Twins put down $100 to win $165, Yankees you'd have to bet $130 to win an additional $100. And those lines are always different- the house collects some cash regardless of who wins.  :)   

BTW, with the line on the Browns game increasing- that means there was a lot of money being bet on the 49ers to cover. 

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2 hours ago, mjp28 said:

1.  Bonus picks.

2. It might be a close game so if PIT loses by 3, 2, 1 or tie I still cover, somehow I think BAL might squeak out a win.  I wouldn't bet money on this game.

3. Gip you would make someone a nice wife, picky, picky, picky.    :lol:

No I’m just trying to understand the system. you still have not answered whether or not +3.5 means are favored by 3.5 or other team is favored by 3.5

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Ross is out for Cincy and AJ Green is still out. Cards win at home 24  -  17

Stealers are better than Balt.      27   -    21

Tough to win on the west coast. travel advantage and home advantage to SF      27     -   24

BTW Teri says they're real and they're spectacular.🧐😛

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1 hour ago, The Gipper said:

No I’m just trying to understand the system. you still have not answered whether or not +3.5 means are favored by 3.5 or other team is favored by 3.5

+3.5 means that you are "taking the chalk", taking the underdog and getting the points added to the score to determine the winner.

-3.5 is the opposite you are "giving the chalk" taking the favorite. In this case the favorite would have to win by 4+ to win the pick or wager.

Got it?    ;)

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35 minutes ago, mjp28 said:

+3.5 means that you are "taking the chalk", taking the underdog and getting the points added to the score to determine the winner.

-3.5 is the opposite you are "giving the chalk" taking the favorite. In this case the favorite would have to win by 4+ to win the pick or wager.

Got it?    ;)

No....that is still a bunch of gibberish.  

IF the fucking Ravens say are -3.5.....does that mean they are favored by 3.5....or are they the underdog by 3.5.   It does not seem like it should be very hard to explain.

I mean, yes I understand "beating the spread".    If a team is favored by 3.5 points, but only wins by 3 points, they have failed to beat the thread, and the other team has "covered" the thread.  But if they win by 4 points they beat the spread. 

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17 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

No....that is still a bunch of gibberish.  

I can't make it any easier, this is from ESPN's betting glossary:

Favorite: The expected straight-up winner in a game or event. Depending on the sport, the favorite will lay either odds or points. For example, in a football game, if a team is a 2.5-point favorite, it will have to win by three points or more to be an ATS winner.

The underdog would be the exact opposite, it's pretty simple actually.

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2 hours ago, mjp28 said:

I can't make it any easier, this is from ESPN's betting glossary:

Favorite: The expected straight-up winner in a game or event. Depending on the sport, the favorite will lay either odds or points. For example, in a football game, if a team is a 2.5-point favorite, it will have to win by three points or more to be an ATS winner.

The underdog would be the exact opposite, it's pretty simple actually.

I understand all that.  If a team is favored by 2.5...they must win by 3 to cover the spread.  If they lose by two they do not cover the spread. Why do they have to obfuscate such a simple concept by all the stupid terminology. 

Just fucking say that  X  is favored over Y by Z points.  

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10 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

I understand all that.  If a team is favored by 2.5...they must win by 3 to cover the spread.  If they lose by two they do not cover the spread. Why do they have to obfuscate such a simple concept by all the stupid terminology. 

Just fucking say that  X  is favored over Y by Z points.  

I'm glad that you understand, if you have any other questions just ask or might I suggest:.  

(oh we kid because we care. :)).    https://coverthespread365.com/trending-sports-betting-news/sports-betting-for-dummies

4b105379de4ecc089b8f7a0c3dd60951.jpg

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Go Pittsburgh!   (Oww....that hurt!)

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1 hour ago, mjp28 said:

I'm glad that you understand, if you have any other questions just ask or might I suggest:.  

(oh we kid because we care. :)).    https://coverthespread365.com/trending-sports-betting-news/sports-betting-for-dummies

4b105379de4ecc089b8f7a0c3dd60951.jpg

How about you just put your sports betting BS in a single thread   

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9 hours ago, The Gipper said:

How about you just put your sports betting BS in a single thread   

Football both college and professional IS largely about the lines and who's favored to win and lose and by how much.  

Almost every single sports show has their expert talking heads giving their opinions on who's going to win and lose and by how much.

AND now that sports betting is permitted in all 50 states (pending the state approval 42 are onboard now) it is exploding all over the USA.

OH BTW that Dummies book is a nice tutorial for the beginning bettor.

AND I only put up the BROWNS vs whomever on one single thread each week plus things like the odds to win their division, etc. which seem to be quite popular with the BROWNS and other fans here.

So as Sargeant Hulka famously said "lighten up Thomas" and go along with it........or just don't read those threads.

AND "Is this a great country or what!"

GO BROWNS +4!  but I think they might not need the +4 Monday Night!    :D

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10 hours ago, The Gipper said:

How about you just put your sports betting BS in a single thread   

Excuse me but don't we get an awful lot of trivia thrown in multiple threads around here besides trivia threads? I don't much care about it, but I don't mind it.

I for one enjoy the the sports betting information shared regardless of where it appears. It's a part of the game just as much as FFL is now a part of the game.

56 minutes ago, mjp28 said:

GO BROWNS +4!  but I think they might not need the +4 Monday Night!    :D

You're gonna need those points on the west coast this week. 🧐😁

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1 hour ago, mjp28 said:

Football both college and professional IS largely about the lines and who's favored to win and lose and by how much.  

That is the biggest pile of horseshit I have heard yet.

Almost every single sports show has their expert talking heads giving their opinions on who's going to win and lose and by how much.

But that has nothing to do with gambling. 

AND now that sports betting is permitted in all 50 states (pending the state approval 42 are onboard now) it is exploding all over the USA.

That does not mean that it has to explode on every thread on this forum.

OH BTW that Dummies book is a nice tutorial for the beginning bettor.

AND I only put up the BROWNS vs whomever on one single thread each week plus things like the odds to win their division, etc. which seem to be quite popular with the BROWNS and other fans here.

Sure, popular....but it still has its place.

So as Sargeant Hulka famously said "lighten up Thomas" and go along with it........or just don't read those threads.

BUT YOU ARE PUTTING THAT SHIT ON EVERY GODDAMN THREAD.

I would read  your gambling threads....but lately every single freeking post you make is about gambling.  Its become an obsession for you.

AND "Is this a great country or what!"

 

GO BROWNS +4!  but I think they might not need the +4 Monday Night!    :D

 

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21 minutes ago, TexasAg1969 said:

Excuse me but don't we get an awful lot of trivia thrown in multiple threads around here besides trivia threads? I don't much care about it, but I don't mind it.

NO, we don't.  Not that I know of.  I think I have put up only like 12 total trivia questions in two threads since training camp began.

I mean, unless you consider every single piece of information that is ever stated on here as trivia.  Mostly that is just conversation. 

I for one enjoy the the sports betting information shared regardless of where it appears. It's a part of the game just as much as FFL is now a part of the game.

You're gonna need those points on the west coast this week. 🧐😁

 

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6 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

BUT YOU ARE PUTTING THAT SHIT ON EVERY GODDAMN THREAD.

I would read  your gambling threads....but lately every single freeking post you make is about gambling.  Its become an obsession for you.

I'll take that under advisement your honor.   :lol:

Now time to eat and then watch football.  (and you better relax you're going to blow a gasket at your age)

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6 minutes ago, mjp28 said:

I'll take that under advisement your honor.   :lol:

Now time to eat and then watch football.  (and you better relax you're going to blow a gasket at your age)

You, like oh so many others here are under the mistaken impression that if I get into it with you all, that somehow it gets me all irate and that my blood pressure goes up, or something.   Nothing could be further from the truth. It is quite the opposite. "Yelling" at you....indeed, relaxes me. Maybe I am pathological that way. 

(but...watching the Browns play....now that does stress me out.  Sometimes to the point of having to go off and take a walk.....ask Westside Steve about it.)

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1 hour ago, TexasAg1969 said:

 

You're gonna need those points on the west coast this week. 🧐😁

I'm kinda getting the same feeling I had before the last road dog game, are the BROWNS ready, good enough?

This will be a good test and if the offense achieves or overachieves they have a shot......I only wish that the defense had a few more of their missing parts.

GO BROWNS, kardiac kids v2.0 time!

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1 hour ago, The Gipper said:

You, like oh so many others here are under the mistaken impression that if I get into it with you all, that somehow it gets me all irate and that my blood pressure goes up, or something.   Nothing could be further from the truth. It is quite the opposite. "Yelling" at you....indeed, relaxes me. Maybe I am pathological that way. 

(but...watching the Browns play....now that does stress me out.  Sometimes to the point of having to go off and take a walk.....ask Westside Steve about it.)

Sounds exactly like my retired English teacher wife. The kids would ask her why she wanted to be a teacher. She always told them with a devilish grin, "I don't know of any other job where I can tell 150 people what to do, how to do it and when to do it. I get to boss you all around all day every day."

And now you know why I spend a minimum of 2 hours every day (except Sunday) on a racquetball court instead of with the retired teacher with no one else to boss around.🤐

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10 minutes ago, TexasAg1969 said:

Sounds exactly like my retired English teacher wife. The kids would ask her why she wanted to be a teacher. She always told them with a devilish grin, "I don't know of any other job where I can tell 150 people what to do, how to do it and when to do it. I get to boss you all around all day every day."

And now you know why I spend a minimum of 2 hours every day (except Sunday) on a racquetball court instead of with the retired teacher with no one else to boss around.🤐

I can believe that kind of like judge Judy here except nobody listens to him.   :lol:

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6 minutes ago, mjp28 said:

I can believe that kind of like judge Judy here except nobody listens to him.   :lol:

You do obviously...you are responding my every post it seems.

But....let's digress:

Ravens/Steelers just getting started.   Let's all root for the meat wagon!!

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5 minutes ago, The Gipper said:

You do obviously...you are responding my every post it seems.

But....let's digress:

Ravens/Steelers just getting started.   Let's all root for the meat wagon!!

No I was replying to Texas Ag......but look at your line by line comments about everyone else on this board.  There's a word for that.   ;)

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26 minutes ago, mjp28 said:

No I was replying to Texas Ag......but look at your line by line comments about everyone else on this board.  There's a word for that.   ;)

Your word is obsession. Do you not even bother and watch the game. 

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