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THE BROWNS BOARD

This Week in the AFC North


Zombo

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Well, The Great Zomboni started off the season three-and-one straight-up in the division, but it wasn't enough for Lola to keep her job, sorry fans.

Sure, everyone knew the Ravens would beat the Phins, and the Bungles would ultimately choke. And I have been telling you Pittsburgh sucks for years, I didn't need any help with that one. But she missed big on the most important game of the week, and that's just bad JuJu.

So another National Search for an assistant begins, in the meantime we are going to have a celebrity guest this week, Friend of the Board Salma Hayek is putting on her best brown dress and advise TGZ on his picks this week.

9236832376_67287c902c.jpg

So, without further ado, here is what The Great Zomboni and the Spectacular Salmas came up with:

Arizona at Baltimore 1:00 PM

The Rats start their season with their second straight candy-ass team. Let their egos grow ... RAVENS 24 CARDINALS 14

 

San Francisco at Cincinnati 1:00 PM

It's not the 80's, so don't expect anything Super. More like a sloppy win for the Bungles on their home turf. BUNGLES 22 49ERS 19

 

Seattle at Pittsburgh 1:00 PM

In honor of our guest Ms. Hayek, I am going to throw you guys a curve here: Steelers can't be THAT bad, and a Tomilin-coached team will rebound against a West Coast team with the game in Pukesburgh. STILLERS 26 SEAHAWKS 20

 

Cleveland at New York Jets 8:15 PM Monday Night Football

After opening in 1970 with Bill Nelson v. Joe Namath, the NFL was hoping to treat us to Mayfield V Darnold II during this historic 50th season of MNF. But apparently Sammy Boy was kissing boys in the bathhouse and came down with something viral. So now we get to watch Baker throttle the Jets in Primetime again and Myles Garrett make lead-footed Trevor Semen into his own personal voodoo doll. BROWNS 41 JETS 14

UZT0FoG.jpg

 

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On 9/14/2019 at 9:00 PM, Zombo said:

Well, The Great Zomboni started off the season three-and-one straight-up in the division, but it wasn't enough for Lola to keep her job, sorry fans.

Sure, everyone knew the Ravens would beat the Phins, and the Bungles would ultimately choke. And I have been telling you Pittsburgh sucks for years, I didn't need any help with that one. But she missed big on the most important game of the week, and that's just bad JuJu.

So another National Search for an assistant begins, in the meantime we are going to have a celebrity guest this week, Friend of the Board Salma Hayek is putting on her best brown dress and advise TGZ on his picks this week.

9236832376_67287c902c.jpg

So, without further ado, here is what The Great Zomboni and the Spectacular Salmas came up with:

Arizona at Baltimore 1:00 PM

The Rats start their season with their second straight candy-ass team. Let their egos grow ... RAVENS 24 CARDINALS 14

 

San Francisco at Cincinnati 1:00 PM

It's not the 80's, so don't expect anything Super. More like a sloppy win for the Bungles on their home turf. BUNGLES 22 49ERS 19

 

Seattle at Pittsburgh 1:00 PM

In honor of our guest Ms. Hayek, I am going to throw you guys a curve here: Steelers can't be THAT bad, and a Tomilin-coached team will rebound against a West Coast team with the game in Pukesburgh. STILLERS 26 SEAHAWKS 20

 

Cleveland at New York Jets 8:15 PM Monday Night Football

After opening in 1970 with Bill Nelson v. Joe Namath, the NFL was hoping to treat us to Mayfield V Darnold II during this historic 50th season of MNF. But apparently Sammy Boy was kissing boys in the bathhouse and came down with something viral. So now we get to watch Baker throttle the Jets in Primetime again and Myles Garrett make lead-footed Trevor Semen into his own personal voodoo doll. BROWNS 41 JETS 14

UZT0FoG.jpg

 

GREAT BOUNCING ICEBERGS!!!!       Was Santa really looking at Rudolph's nose when he said that?

Great write-up and thanks for the eye candy Zombo!  

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11 hours ago, hoorta said:

Sorry Z. Bungles gonna suck, and ditto them Squealers. Ravens got two winning byes in a row.  :(

I'm not sure about Bengals sucking. The NFL is such a strange business in that it comes down to like 3-4 plays in most games to determine a winner. I watched the previous Cincy game and they were the better team for most of the day. They screwed up two red zone opportunities I believe, and that was that. It was a very close game against a quality opponent, and I'm not totally sold on them being as awful as many of us hoped. 

The Steelers are a mystery to me, and I don't think it's fair to judge them for week 1, as I don't believe judging us is the right thing either. Week 2 is going to tell us A LOT about our division, and it's bad luck for us that the Ravens get two warm-up weeks in a row to begin the season. I think your score in that game is too low, and they might just beat the ever living PISS out of the Cardinals. If you aren't ready for their bizarre offense, you can get your feelings hurt in a HURRY. 

I agree with your outcome for our game, but not the score. The Jets will attempt, and somewhat succeed, in making the game as ugly as possible. It'll be relatively low scoring and we'll pull away in the second half due largely to a Denzel Ward pick-6. I also don't agree with some members of the media who said the Browns not only have to win, but win in convincing fashion. Nope, it doesn't work that way in the NFL. It's EXTREMELY difficult to win on Sundays (and Mondays) and they're is absolutely zero room for style points, especially when you're the Browns. 

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image.png.7156abeb356c96fe5c000bad95c9f0ca.png

Pretty much a "meh" start... Once again into the breach.

San Francisco @ Cincinnati (-1.5) -- Sun 09/15 12:00 PM

And we have our first Pro line-flipper of 2019...

The line opened Monday with the Bagels as 2-point dogs at home. Suddenly Tuesday they were 1-point favs. Wha-happened??? Since there were no injury surprises overnite... neither negative ones for SF nor positive ones for Cinci... that leaves only one possibility: A TON of $$$ came in Monday on Cinci +2 so to entice $$$ to the SF side, they had to flip the line.

I'm nervous about backing Jimmy G... cause he seems to be playing nervous. The only other thing is that it's going to be warm (mid-80's) in Cinci today. And if you've ever been on the banks of the Ohio on a warm day you know how miserable that can be. SF (the world's only air conditioned city) is less preared for that kinda heat, but it's the only heat they'll face all day.

Vegas simply does not get opening lines that wrong. So...

Prediction: SF 24 CIN 19

 

Arizona @ Baltimore (-13.5) -- Sun 09/15 12:00 PM

There are two teams in the NFL that should be prepared to face either Jackson or Murray... and they play each other today. Theoretically that should neutralize the uniqueness of each QB inside their own Conference... and since it's my theory I just look at the Ravens superiority almost everywhere else (a healthy D. Johnson gives AZ the RB edge).

Plus there's the home field.

Plus plus Jackson has the experience edge...

Prediction: BLT 34 AZ 17

 

Seattle @ Pittsburgh (-4.0) -- Sun 09/15 12:00 PM

Odd that this pairing started the week as an "Off". Both teams are healthy... both lineups are set...

While I expect the Steelers to improve as the season goes on and their young replacements gain experience, they won't this week. Right now they are "sneaky bad".

Now meet the Seahawks, who are "sneaky good". While Russell won't sneak up on anyone, Chris Carson will. And that D may be diminished on paper, but they played very well as a unit last week once they woke up.

Prediction: SEA 23 PTG 17

 

Cleveland @ New York (NYJ)(+2.5) -- Mon 09/16 07:15 PM

Now or never...

Our personnel bests there's across the board... excepting OL taken en masse.

I think we are pissed off and the J-E-T-S Jets-Jets Jets pay the price-price-price.

Prediction: CLE 45 NYJ 13

 

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32 minutes ago, Dutch Oven said:

Can't wait for that 4pm Saints vs Rams game... Think the Saints have had this game circled on their schedule? 

Oooooooooooooo, forgot about that! I'm also sadistically looking forward to the Dolphins and Patriots game. God help them. 

Also, Lamar Jackson looks UNSTOPPABLE. Holy crap. 

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11 hours ago, TexasAg1969 said:

Ravens 28     Cards  10

Bungles   24     49s   27

Squealers  17     Seabirds   24

Browns   24    Jets   10

I'm 3 for 3 with Ravens, 49ers and Seahawks. EDIT: I see Tour & hoorta called those as well.

Hopefully this is an omen for a 4 for 4 weekend, so...............................Go Browns!!👍

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5 hours ago, TexasAg1969 said:

I'm 3 for 3 with Ravens, 49ers and Seahawks. EDIT: I see Tour & hoorta called those as well.

Hopefully this is an omen for a 4 for 4 weekend, so...............................Go Browns!!👍

LOL, never underestimate the ability of the Bengals to Bungle.....  One or two more losses, and those Bengal fans will be back under their rocks for the season....  

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10 hours ago, hoorta said:

One or two more losses, and those Bengal fans will be back under their rocks for the season....  

We should invest in a quarry in the Cinci area...

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20 hours ago, Dutch Oven said:

Roethlisberger knocked out with elbow injury, Mason Rudolph making his NFL debut.  

Tomlin just announced Ben's done for the Year...will have elbow surgery this week...

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22 minutes ago, gumby73 said:

Tomlin just announced Ben's done for the Year...will have elbow surgery this week...

Whoah!! I was wondering if it  was a tendonitis flare up, or something  worse. It was worse. Too  bad for the  Steelers. Connor  got hurt in that game  too. 

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33 minutes ago, gumby73 said:

Tomlin just announced Ben's done for the Year...will have elbow surgery this week...

Have to wonder if we've seen the last of Big Ben...

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the way Ben reacted to throw tells me he's headed for MCL tommy john elbow surgery?...google UCL tommy john elbow surgery..da man has played with iron rods for bones..muscle tendons are a whole new game at age 38..again, just a hunch

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31 minutes ago, gumby73 said:

the way Ben reacted to throw tells me he's headed for MCL tommy john elbow surgery?...google UCL tommy john elbow surgery..da man has played with iron rods for bones..muscle tendons are a whole new game at age 38..again, just a hunch

It usually takes pitchers 2 years to come back from Tommy John surgery....and that is when they are in their 20s.

And don't forget who Tommy John was...and who he originally played with:

PsxODuV.jpg

 

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14 minutes ago, Zombo said:

She nailed the Browns game. Good juju. She might stick around ...

Zombo

41-14 sure does not sound like she nailed anything other than a win.

Now if she had said 24-10 like some here, that's much closer to nailing it.😂

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10 minutes ago, TexasAg1969 said:

41-14 sure does not sound like she nailed anything other than a win.

Now if she had said 24-10 like some here, that's much closer to nailing it.😂

We are a bottom'-line based organization at TGZ Enterprises ... and we like her bottom line.

Zombo

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