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Westside Steve

Godzilla review

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Godzilla
Warner Brothers
PG.                132 min

The Japanese are a pretty impressive group of people even though they haven’t always been on the right side of world history. The amazing and Innovative manufacturing techniques have turned the phrase made in Japan from a joke into a huge selling point. Hell the fact that this tiny island almost conquer the world is quite a feat.  (Not to mention the hot chicks in those little sailor suits, but I digress…) Still one has to wonder how such that accomplished and capable race has also given the world Karaoke, Yoko Ono and movies about giant rubber lizards stomping on Tokyo. Call it a knee-jerk reaction but these days when I hear the name GODZILLA I expect to see the Mystery Science Theater 3000 gang providing the commentary. Not this time folks. We should be so lucky as to have Joel Tom Servo and Crow reacting to this piece of crap but no such luck. I guess this is a sequel to the 2014 film entitled simply GODZILLA. Frankly I didn’t see it so if there’s any kind of nuance I’m unaware of feel free to send me an email. I’m thinking Seth Rogen should be pleased because now LONG SHOT is no longer the worst movie of the year. Don’t misunderstand, it sucks pretty badly but this is much much worse. Before I get to the vestigial plot I was slightly looking forward to seeing Kyle Chandler who got screwed by the chiselers at Netflix when they pulled the plug on BLOODLINES. Here he plays Mark Russell, a scientist that lost a son the last time GODZILLA paid q visit and since that time his pain in the ass wife and snotty daughter have been estranged. (Chandler wasn’t in the 2014 version as far as I can tell, so that hook is somewhat irrelevant) She’s also a scientist and wrapped up in some sort of a ridiculous organization run by an eco-terrorist who wants mankind destroyed, or something like that, so the Earth can start anew. You see now it’s not just GODZILLA, it’s the entire roster of latex leviathans that have vexed the Japanese for decades. So why are the rubber reptiles wreaking havoc on the earth now? Well just in case you aren’t sick enough of politically correct BS, they have been awoken by the evil practices of man including war, overpopulation,  pollution and strip mining and have come to cleanse the Earth of the infection that is human life. To be honest about an hour into this stinker I was kind of hoping they would succeed and put me out of my misery. Here there are a few groups of people battling for superiority in this flick, the old Japanese scientist and his associates who want to be friends and live in peace with with the so called titans. He's hung out with Godzilla before and thinks he’s here to protect us from the other monsters. Next the inevitable evil military people who want to make weapons out of them. Don’t forget the aforementioned eco-terrorist who wants them to kill all the human beings and make the earth a better place. And of course the group that just wants to kill them all. Mark slowly evolves from the kill them all group to the let’s be friends group when he figures out GODZILLA is the only monster who is really on our side, and figures that if he can get close to the epicenter he can find his wife and daughter. Is the plot a big crock of nonsense? No Doubt but that’s not nearly the worst part of this bomb. Just this morning I watch the final episode of GAME OF THRONES and in comparison movies special effects and the dragons were especially cheesy. But wait even the crap computer graphics seemed like LORD OF THE RINGS when you compare it to some of the worst dialogue and acting we’ve seen since Mothra was just a cocoon. It will really make you miss toy dinosaurs kicking over cardboard buildings in the 1954 original. You think somebody could figure out how way to make this movie less odorous in 60 years. Of course if you are looking for bad Omens they have left plenty of room for a sequel. I suggest you spend your time at a karaoke bar singing Yoko Ono songs. It should be more fun.
F
WSS

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ANOTHER Godzilla movie?...I can’t wait for for the next King Kong release.

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1 minute ago, Canton Dawg said:

ANOTHER Godzilla movie?...I can’t wait for for the next King Kong release.

There were a bunch I had neglected to post, I don't know if this is a repeat of one or not. It was just a few months ago.

WSS

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I love when you fill in the details of this "bomb"  to  say that its not nearly the worst part and go on - laughed my head off! 

I didnt see this clunker though but definely would if Joel (Hodgson) Robinson , Tom Servo and Crow were stuck watching it!

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24 minutes ago, FairHooker11 said:

I love when you fill in the details of this "bomb"  to  say that its not nearly the worst part and go on - laughed my head off! 

I didnt see this clunker though but definely would if Joel (Hodgson) Robinson , Tom Servo and Crow were stuck watching it!

And I even like that show when Mike Nelson took over.

Have you seen the new Netflix version? Really really lame.

WSS

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4 minutes ago, Westside Steve said:

And I even like that show when Mike Nelson took over.

Have you seen the new Netflix version? Really really lame.

WSS

not netflix - I dont have it. 

Yes on the comedy central ones though...Nelson included

Joel Hodgson  (from Wis) was a standup comic here in Mpls so his local exposure made his venture into MST3000 a hit

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7 minutes ago, FairHooker11 said:

not netflix - I dont have it. 

Yes on the comedy central ones though...Nelson included

Joel Hodgson  (from Wis) was a standup comic here in Mpls so his local exposure made his venture into MST3000 a hit

Unfortunately there's only so much you can do with that premise before you start cannibalizing yourself. Sooner or later you run out of ideas.

WSS

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We aren't missing much on not having netflix - about movies, I take it?

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