Drag Me to Hell review

[Westside Steve]

Drag Me To Hell

Universal

PG 13 99 min

 

 

OK gang this is a good week to grade on the curve.

We have an action blockbuster, an animated blockbuster and a horror blockbuster.

So what’s that got to do with the curve? Well, you see, I can’t really figure a better way to compare films of, let’s say, different genres.

 

So I’m going to grade Sam Raimi’s newest schlockfest against other horror flicks.

Now horror films, by and large, suck out loud despite the fact that they’re so irresistible.

I mean, karate movies suck too but they just don’t have that allure.

Anyway Sam Raimi is the creator of EVIL DEAD, a campy tongue in cheek but gruesome frolic that had little more than a cult following.

Well the cult grew and Raimi’s goofball guts and gore are making the big bucks today.

Nearly thirty years later he gives us DRAG ME TO HELL, which could have just as easily debuted at a drive in during the early 80s.

It’s not a zombie film this time, but the old Gypsy curse hook, not unlike Stephen King’s Thinner, only a lot more gross.

Christine (Alison Lohman) is a bank drone who aspires to a managerial position when a creepy old Gypsy woman comes in to beg for a third extension on her house.

She wants to seem like a tough negotiator for the boss so she turns the old dame down.

As it turns out that was a bad idea and winds up in the clutches of a cockamamie demonic curse. Despite the best efforts of mediums, soothsayers and witch doctors she’ll be dragged to hell in three days by a demon in the form of, and I’m not kidding, the black goat.

There’s enough dime store FX, fake puke, worms, eyeballs popping out etc. to keep any red blooded thirteen year old boy happy. Remember this is rated PG 13 for good reason.

As to the horror it’s more startling than actually frightening but at least there’s a sense of humor and while you won’t be scared to go out in the dark (like after THE EXORCIST or TEXAS CHAINSAW) at least you won’t die from boredom.

The most unbelievable part was buying the idea that Christine’s wimpy boyfriend (who makes Clay Aiken seem like Clint Eastwood) actually likes women.

 

C+ (on the curve)

 

WSS

westsidesteve@aol.com

[The Gipper]

I told you when we saw this together that a C+ was being generous.

Most of the "scariness" of this movie was of the "gotcha" or "BOO" variety.

Here is a quiet moment with the girl creeping around and then "WHAM" a big loud crash of sound with a freaky demon being seen. Juvenile BS.

And the kid who played the boyfriend is the same kid who is on the Mac/PC commercials, and he was also the same kid from the most recent Die Hard movie (Live Free or Die Hard?).

From that Die Hard movie that kid does have one of my most favorite movie quotes of the last 5 years when he told John McClane's daughter: "Wow, I recognize the attitude, I just never expected to see it on anyone with hair".

 

 

 

[Westside Steve]

I told you when we saw this together that a C+ was being generous.

Most of the "scariness" of this movie was of the "gotcha" or "BOO" variety.

Here is a quiet moment with the girl creeping around and then "WHAM" a big loud crash of sound with a freaky demon being seen. Juvenile BS.

And the kid who played the boyfriend is the same kid who is on the Mac/PC commercials, and he was also the same kid from the most recent Die Hard movie (Live Free or Die Hard?).

From that Die Hard movie that kid does have one of my most favorite movie quotes of the last 5 years when he told John McClane's daughter: "Wow, I recognize the attitude, I just never expected to see it on anyone with hair".

 

 

All true but then again the horror curve....

I wish it sucked worse so I could have used the line "Big f*cking drag....me to hell."

 

WSS