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The Hobbit, Battle of Five Armies.


hoorta

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Different strokes for different folks. I suppose it depends on how deep you want to immerse yourself in the Fable. MHO is Harry Potter has the depth of a Cat in the Hat kiddie story compared to LOTR. I enjoyed the Potter movies, but I wouldn't watch them 50X over like I have LOTR. Crap, Tolkien was such a damn genius he created a couple functional languages in his spare time just for kicks to insert into the books. "Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatuluk, ag burzhum ishi krimpatul." I can still recite that one from heart- it's the Black Speech inscription on the Ring of Power- "One Ring to rule them all, one Ring to find them, one Ring to Rule them all, and in the Darkness bind them. I wouldn't bother you with Quena Elvish from Galadeiel's lament when they left Lothlorien.

 

I probably could have made a lot more money in my life if I had spent more time memorizing my science texts instead of LOTR. I used to have a standing bet in college- you give me any two lines in the books- I'll give you the next two.

 

 

You're welcome, enjoy. :)

 

PS- and a minor spoiler- Jackson made Balin such a likable dwarf- it's even more sad he got killed off around 40 years later when he made the very bad decision to try and retake Moria.

 

& PPS- as Gandalf would say. Cisco. Tolkien created his mythology so perfectly- even someone who knows the 1,700 pages as well as I do, it took me years to be able to take a couple legit pot shots at the story.

I would prefer to immerse myself in the elder scrolls which has a ridiculous berth of mythology for a video game series. Plus I hate dwarves. Across all fantasy - not just lotr I dislike dwarves. Why? Because they're short? I don't know. Hobbits seem extra lame to me. They're just, like, a neurotic dwarf with no beard and hairy feet.

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The Silmarillion is more or less vignette's of "history". There are a few dozen stories in there.....not really amenable to a movie that would tell one continuous tale.

 

 

Stand-alone HBO series?

 

 

Unless they added a lot of sex and also made it a lot more interesting it wouldn't survive next to game of thrones

 

 

Hey it's got to have sex or it won't sell? Are you the type of guy who went ga-ga over Kate Upton doing commercials for Game of War?

 

So how's this for a story line- Beren a mortal man- falls head over heels for Luthien- an elf princess. (trivia insert- she's also the X-grandmother of Arwen in LOTR). So Beren and Luthien want to get married. Her dad, Elf King Thingol says fat chance of that happening. So I'll let you get married- on one condition bring me a Silmaril and it's all cool. There's a slight problem. Thingol figures he's given Beren an impossible task. There are three Silmarils- gems crafted by Feanor in the First age of the world (same guy who probably made Saruman's Palantir) that make Thorin's Arkenstone look like a drill bit stud. However, they're currently in the possession of one Morgoth- the ultimate badass of Middle Earth- (happens to be Sauron's boss).

 

So Beren and Luthien set out on the impossible journey- with some help from a friend (the Elf King Finrod- there were a lot of elf kings back then, but the majority of them got killed) and meet Sauron (he wasn't just a spirit way back then) & a lot of nasty critters (Cacharoth) on the way to get a Silmaril from Morgoth. And hopefully live happily ever after.

 

Interested? I would be.

 

Oh Steve more trivia- (why I love the detail Tolkien went into, and Jackson's attention to it) if you remember in LOTR Womtongue describes Aragorn's ring to Sauman- he's talking about the Ring of Barahir- that's Beren's dad. The ring was many thousands of years old.

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Yeah bro totally. I'm gay which is why my nights are annoyingly filled with toddlers wanting me to throw them in the air.

Hey little angry boy, perhaps you're confused. Did you for some reason think that hentai was gay pornography? I'm thinking it's time for an Emily Litella nevermind...

 

:D

 

WSS

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So the point is I don't waste my time watching cartoon characters fuck. Think about what you just said:

 

"Nerd! You don't know what hentai is!"

No bud. The point is I made a little joke and you misunderstood it and then got mad. That's all. Nothing more sinister or unforgivable than that.

 

We we're talking about science fiction characters and fantasy characters and sex... Do a web search for hentai ogres.

 

WSS

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