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Found 3 results

  1. Well, the Browns finally did it. They turned the franchise around. And in typical Brownsiness ... they backed into it. By Botching the trade with the Bengals, the Browns saved themselves from making a knee-jerk reaction that would lead to 2-3 more years of guaranteed mediocrity ... and instead will stay on to the path of developing Deshone Kizer and/or drafting a QB high in the first round this year ... BOTH of which are far better options than A.J. Fucking McCarron Browns: You're either going to get a gold mine out of Kizer who has all of the NFL tools, or you're going to get the best available QB in a rich QB draft. Think about that. Thank you dude that botched trade, thank you. *****************************************************GREAT ZOMBONI GUARANTEE****************************************************** Cleveland at Detroit 1:00 PM The Browns took the Titans to overtime and led the Vikings into the third quarter in their last two games. They are coming around. They have had two weeks to gameplan and get healthy for this game. The Lions are coming off a short week after an emotional MNF contest with their arch rivals. TOTAL TRAP GAME for the Lions. BACK UP THE TRUCK on the Browns. There is a lot of young talent there, and this week it comes together. BROWNS 24 LIONS 17 ******************************************************************************************************************************************* Pittsburgh at Indianapolis 1:00 PM Andrew Luck won't be back this year, and the Colts didn't have a whole lot going on to begin with. Walk in the park for the Steelers. STEELERS 40 COLTS 14 Cincinnati at Tennessee 1:00 PM Titans are giving 4.5 points ... take the Bungles all day ... they'll probably win the game outright. BUNGLES 20 TITANS 19 TGZ
  2. Overall, it has been a pretty good year for The Great Zomboni, Zelda the Wonderdawg, and Zoey the Intern. Once again, you were told last week that Pittsburgh and Baltimore would outright lose before the games took place. But getting two or three right every week doesn't pay the bills around here. In fact I had Zoey work a car show this week to pick up some extra cash. : So, if we are going to get back on track, then we need to do what do best ... make air-tight guarantees. That's right, I think the time is right to apply the fail-safe Great Zomboni Guarantee to one of these games this week, and let everyone make some money. For those of you whom this is your first year reading TWITAFCN, let me explain how the Great Zomboni Guarantee works: I guarantee shit. You bet your house on it. It happens. You own two houses. But which of the two AFCN games this week is guarantee-worthy? Read on ... Washington vs. Cincinnati, 9:30 AM, London The Bungles are having a disappointing season (for them ... I predicted it), and it doesn't make matters any better that they lose a home game to this London crapola. But the trip shouldn't be all too bad, because once they start playing the game they will relaize that, while they are not good ... they are still slightly better than Washington. This one ends on a Kurt Cousins INT. BUNGLES 27 REDSKINS 24 **********************************************************GREAT ZOMBONI GUARANTEE********************************************* New York Jets at Cleveland Two teams with a QB identity crisis, but while the Jets are now forced to play the guy they didn't want anymore, the Browns are getting back the guy that gives them the best chance to win football games. The veteran Josh McCown will ignite energy into the Browns offense, and it will carry over not just into an improved passing game, but the blocking and run game will be at its season's best as well. Meanwhile, the Browns young pass rush is picking up steam and that should results in a couple game-changing INTs for Fitzpatrick. Browns win ... easily. I guarantee it. BROWNS 34 JETS 13 ************************************************************************************************************************************************** TGZ
  3. Alright, I need to turn this downward trend around, let's get right to it: Minnesota at Baltimore 1:00 PM I don't know who is starting at QB for Minnesota, but he will throw a gut-wrenching interception to lose the game. RAVENS 19 VIKINGS 17 Indianapolis at Cincinnati 1:00 PM Colts will win this one outright, further confusing people as to who the top AFC teams are. COLTS 31 BUNGLES 24 ***************************************Great Zomboni Guarantee********************* Cleveland at New England 1:00Pm This a complete trap game for New England. The Browns need a road trip after the debackle in Cleveland the last two weeks. Campbell back at the helm provides calmness and confidence to get the job done. Browns jump out ot surprising early lead and defense harasses Brady and his receivers all day and they can never catch up. Browns win outright, The Great Zomboni Guarantees it. BROWNS 28 PATRIOTS 20 ****************************************Great Zomboni Guarantee******************** Miami at Pittsburgh 1:00 PM Pittsburgh wins at home and starts feeling good about themselves before they shit the bed in their last three games. STEELERS 27 DOLPHINS 19 Last Week: 2-2 Straight up, 2-2 v. the spread. Season: 27-21 Straight up 30-18 v. the spread
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