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Steeler fan joke contest


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#1 The Gipper

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 01:52 PM

I did this a time or two on the old AOL boards. It is time for the Steeler fan joke contest.

Now be clear, we have to acknowledge that the Pittsburgh Steelers organization is a well run, well coached successful operation. So this joke contest does not apply to the team. However, we all also realize that the Steeler fan base is one of the most ignorant on the planet, bordering on trogloditism. Thus, all jokes must be on their fans, not on the team.
(e.g. not the time for Big Gay Ben jokes)

I think we should leave the contest open for about a week before declaring the winner, who will get some kind of prize.
(but I assure you it will not be an all expenses paid trip to Pittsburgh.)

I am looking for a couple of volunteers to be judges. Perhaps some of our long time board denizens, unless you really want to be a participant, thus do not volunteer as a judge. I will be one judge.

In theory, the jokes should be "clean", though I will leave that up to the board's censors. The jokes can be as lame or as creative as you wish: e.g.: How many Steeler fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they haven't installed electric lights in any part of Allegheny County yet! Ba dum bump. (You see why I won't be a contestant)

Also, any Steeler fan bozo that thinks they can turn this into a Browns fan joke session will learn that their post will be deleted or appropriately edited to convert it a Steeler fan joke.
(Besides, we all know that there is no way that Steeler fan can really be witty enough....though they are welcome to post a self depracating joke.)

Let the fun begin!
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#2 hammertime

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 02:14 PM

Big Gay Ben

I win
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#3 The Gipper

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 02:26 PM

QUOTE (hammertime @ Aug 17 2009, 03:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Big Gay Ben

I win


Sorry, disqualified.
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#4 The Gipper

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 02:54 PM

QUOTE (FSG @ Aug 17 2009, 03:34 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Making fun of a fanbase....oh, you mean for stuff like this:

Being known for throwing objects out onto the field?

Criticizing James Harrison for a cheap punch in the Super Bowl, while idolizing Turkey Jones for all time for a cheap shot on Terry Bradshaw?

Celebrating and acting like Championships won in a league not even recognized by the NFL as being equivalent, and even superior, to Super Bowls?

For being from a city that has seen TWO NFL Franchises relocate from?

That they believe the Steelers of the 70s cheated by using steroids--when in fact, its impossible to cheat when the substance to be said in question they cheated with was in fact, a legal substance of the time. -- Nothing like a fanbase that ignores fact.

That they wanted to believe the Steelers of the 70s were the only team in the NFL that used steroids when in fact, the first publicized team to do so was the 1964 San Diego Chargers and a former Cleveland Browns player himself, Lyle Alzado, admitting to using them and saying they were commonplace. -- Nothing like a fanbase that ignores common sense.

For constantly stating that Pittsburgh hired Bill Cowher who was once a Brown---all the while ignoring he grew up in Crafton, PA?

Delete this if you want....as I expect you will. The fact is your "fan base" cannot handle the truth. They want to live in a vacuum of what they want to believe is true.


Apparently I cannot edit your posts, only my own.

But, you have now demonstrated what a freaking joke Steeler fans really are with your contribution. You demonstrate that you are morons with no sense of humor and with no knowledge. Congratulations, you have at least lived up to the spirit of this competition by proving my point.
(I will only point out several factual errors: 1. Steroids were NOT legal in the 70s. They may not have been banned by the NFL, but it was illegal under law to abuse them, even then (whoever may have used them, Steelers or otherwise). 2. Bill Cowher did play and coach for the Browns. You deny that?
3. The Cleveland area, being the birthplace of professional football had more than 2 franchises go out...you forget about the Cleveland Tigers, the Cleveland Bulldogs, the Cleveland Indians, all now defunct NFL teams, in addition to the Rams. (But, being a Steeler fan, we know you don't know jack about football history)
4. One of the franchises that did NOT move were the Cleveland Browns. The Cleveland Browns franchise has remained right here all this time since 1946. I could school you on the pertinent facts, but you being a Steeler fan, I mus point out that this forum isn't ameanble to the use of crayons.
So, when you are able to provide some truth, we will almost certainly be able to handle it.
Though you have submitted an entry to demonstrate Steeler fan stupidity, I don't think I will likely judge your entry in the top 10. We'll see what the other judges have to say about it.

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#5 The Gipper

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 02:55 PM

One of those other judges will be Kosar for President who has volunteered. We thank you.
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#6 The Gipper

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 03:00 PM

I think we may have to do a daily progress report on this. Tomorrow sometime judges can say which posts that were submitted by midnight get the daily nod. Then perhaps we can go on a 24 hour rotation, midnight to midnight.
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#7 RoethlisbergerFumbles!

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 03:51 PM

3 Football fans stumble home after the game and find a naked lady in the bushes passed out drunk. The guys call the police and the Bengals fan takes his had off and puts it over the girls left breast. The Browns fan takes off his hat and puts it over the girls right breast. Finally, the steelers fan takes his hat off and puts it over the girls vagina.

When the police show up, the officer looks under the Bengals hat and takes a quick note. He then looks under the Browns hat and writes another quick note. Finally he looks under the steelers hat. Puts it down. Looks again, and again. The steelers fan is outraged and yells, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Are you a pervert or something?" The Cop replies. "No, I'm just dumbfounded, because usually I see an asshole under every steeler's hat!"
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#8 BUNSofSTEEL08

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 04:30 PM

QUOTE (hiwaygal @ Aug 17 2009, 03:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But just in case...


One day, while driving along, I saw a priest.

I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,
"Where are you going Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the
road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road.

Suddenly, I saw a Pittsburgh fan walking down the road, with that "P" shirt
on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, I swerved back
into the road just in time.

Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise ame from, I glanced in my mirrors but still
didn't see anything.

I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest
and said,

"Sorry Father, I almost hit that Pittsburgh fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."



FUnny.. I Like.... I will leave it there. Good one.
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#9 Dan in Florida

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 04:36 PM

You know you are Pittsburgh Squeelers fan when...


-Your house moves but your twelve cars don't.

-You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

-You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

-Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

-You burn your yard rather than mow it.

-The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

-You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

-You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

-You come back from the dump with more than you took.

- You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

- Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

-You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

-You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

-You have a rag for a gas cap.

-You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

-You can spit without opening your mouth.

-You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

-You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

-The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

-Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

-You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

-A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

-You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

-You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

-You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

-You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table . . . in front of her kids.

-You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

-You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

-You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

-Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey watch this."

-You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

-Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

-Your junior prom had a daycare.

-You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

-The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

-You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

-One of your kids was born on a pool table.

-You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

-You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

-You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

-Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

-Your front porch collapses and kills more than five animals.

-The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
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#10 BUNSofSTEEL08

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 04:38 PM

QUOTE (Dan in Florida @ Aug 17 2009, 05:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You know you are Pittsburgh Squeelers fan when...


-Your house moves but your twelve cars don't.

-You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

-You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

-Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

-You burn your yard rather than mow it.

-You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

-The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

-You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

-You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

-You come back from the dump with more than you took.

- You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

- Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

- Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

-You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

-You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

- You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

-You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

-You have a rag for a gas cap.

-Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

-You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

-You can spit without opening your mouth.

-You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

-You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

-The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

-Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

-You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

-A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

-You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

-You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

-You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

-You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table . . . in front of her kids.

-You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

-You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

-Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."

-You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

-Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey watch this."

-You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

-Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

-Your junior prom had a daycare.

-You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are:
"Gentlemen start your engines."

-You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

-The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

-You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

-One of your kids was born on a pool table.

-You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

-You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

-You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

-Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

-Your front porch collapses and kills more than five animals.

-At some point in your life you've been too drunk to fish.

-The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.




Thats weak bro , I live in Youngstown Ohio and that ALL Applies here. I worked in Canton for a while and the ALL Applies there. Hillbillies are Everywhere. Including Steeler Nation. And Cleveland , Ohio.
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#11 DTBH

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 04:45 PM

Steelers fans aren't bandwagon frontrunners.

I win by landslide.
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#12 The Gipper

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 04:46 PM

Looks like you took a page from Jeff Foxworthy's play book.

On a different note respecting the one item you had in there where Steeler fan thinks Dom Perignon was a Mafia Don:

True story: I was looking I believe just yesterday in the Beacon Journal where they had the "Police Blotter". They break the police reports down by city. The big crime that was reported for Hudson: "Someone broke into a car and stole a bottle of Dom Perignon plus other bottles of wine with a value of $1200.00."
Poor Hudsonites. Now you know why they are not like the rest of us.
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#13 hammertime

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 05:25 PM

bigger gay ben

i've won first and second place
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#14 blowe

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 05:26 PM

This is not a joke but still funny. A steelers fan came into my place of employment the other day and ordered food. He later tipped me $.50 and said "that's for being a browns fan." I was pissed. He came into work today again and I spit in his drink. His wife tipped me $5 today. I laughed to myself.

Not a joke really, but honest to god truth.

call me an asshole, I don't care...it was worth it
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#15 Riffer X

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 05:53 PM

QUOTE (FREAKofSTEEL08 @ Aug 17 2009, 06:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yep...You an azzzzhole. Its Football you dont SPIT in someones food you classless moron. SIck Sick Sick...you need to Visit "Bubba" down in County Lockup for a few weeks.


Dude just stiffed him like a true classless Steeler fook. Besides, they're used to swapping spit.
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#16 roach

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 06:58 PM

i had to stay in a downtown Pittsburgh hotel last year. i called down the the front desk and told them that i have a leak in my sink. The clerk said "Go ahead."
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#17 FairHooker11

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 07:29 PM

"MOM! your blockin the TV!! ph34r.gif












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#18 Sez.EJ

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 08:09 PM

Steelers Chuck and Kordell Stewart were walking down the street. They saw a dog licking its balls. Steelers Chuck said "wow, I wish I could do that!" Kordell said.. Be careful, you might want to pet him first... ahhh ha hah ha
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#19 Flugel

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 10:07 PM

QUOTE (The Gipper @ Aug 17 2009, 02:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I did this a time or two on the old AOL boards. It is time for the Steeler fan joke contest.

Let the fun begin!


In a car full of Steeler fans - who's doing the driving?
The Cop

What do you call 2 Gay Steeler fans?
Kevin FitzPatrick and Patrick FitsKevin

What do you call a Steeler Sports bar with no seats?
A fruit stand

How do Steeler fans celebrate Halloween?
Dey Pump-kin

What's the difference between a Worthlessberger date and a rooster?
One says cock-a-doodle-do and the other says any-cock-will-do

What does a Worthlessberger date & Peanut Butter have in common?
They both spread for bread

What does a Worthlessberger date and a hockey rink have in common?
Neither get cleaned between periods






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#20 Timugen

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 10:16 PM

A Browns fan and a Steelers fan are in the bathroom at the urinals during the game.

After relieving himself, the Steelers fan starts washing his hands. Meanwhile, the Browns fan finishes and just walks past the sinks toward the door.

The Steelers fan looks up in disgust and says "Didn't your mother teach you to wash your hands after you go the bathroom?"

"No, my parents taught me to not piss on my hands," replied the Browns fan.
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