The Browns Board was created on this date in 2003

[Umadogg]

 

Haha ... Uma ... greetings, it's been a ummm, a decade? Damn, we all have problems ...

 

Weird but Uma is one of us, chewed the same amount of megabytes ... he's sorta like the redheaded step-child franchise that he follows.

 

Always great to see old screen names though.

 

 

There ya go.

 

Good to hear from you, and again....happy birthday, pinhead.

 

Truth be told, I'm very proud of you guys for hanging in there when weaker but smarter people would have folded their tent years ago.

 

Or at least that's what so many of you kept telling me all those years ago during the Bengals darkest decade.

 

You could even say that I'm living proof that each of you can make it through these dark years if you keep leaning on the friendships you've formed with the other losers who surround you.

 

Seriously, you can do this.

 

In fact, by my calculations Brownie nation has already made it nearly half way through your curse.

 

Just 14 or 15 more years to go.

[Furnier]

 

Only a Brown fan would be so stupid to craft an excuse about why he couldn't pay his debts, for years, due to his feeble inability to mail a simple package.

 

 

 

 

I'm guessing you never bothered to buy the bottle in the first place due to the fact that you're dirt poor, stupid, and a bit of a liar.

Well there you go guessing again. I have purchased exactly one bottle of that swill in my life. It traveled approximately 8,700 miles before it was consumed. I have to tell you for the price it really was rather pedestrian. Apparently the gantry shed you call a home is unknown to the civilized world that is easily serviced by the the likes of the USPS , UPS, FedEx and their ilk. As for your personal assessment of my standing one must consider the source. A Jeff Goldblum worshiping, flea dipping fan of Ohio's red headed step children. After 10 years in absentia your 2 cents have still not matured to their full value.

[Umadogg]

The last time a professional football team from the State of Ohio won a playoff game:

 

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/199501010cle.htm

 

New Years Day, 1995.

 

Cleveland, Ohio.

 

Zombo

 

Did you know that in the near future all Clevelanders will grow eyes on the back of their pinheads to make looking backwards easier?

 

Anthropologists are already calling the result of this future evolution...Homo Gipperman.

[Umadogg]

Well there you go guessing again. I have purchased exactly one bottle of that swill in my life. It traveled approximately 8,700 miles before it was consumed. I have to tell you for the price it really was rather pedestrian. Apparently the gantry shed you call a home is unknown to the civilized world that is easily serviced by the the likes of the USPS , UPS, FedEx and their ilk. As for your personal assessment of my standing one must consider the source. A Jeff Goldblum worshiping, flea dipping fan of Ohio's red headed step children. After 10 years in absentia your 2 cents have still not matured to their full value.

 

Be nice. I deliberately picked an inexpensive brand after learning how poor you are.

[hoorta]

 

Yep, Barry McBride. I came across his facebook account earlier today while combing Erocc's account. Great guy, I just hope that his "responsibility" to write and meet quota's didn't dim his fandom. That man could write!

 

 

Not only could he write, he was one of the top three, if not the top (in the Dark Years)- Baltomoron troll basher I've ever seen- only BeesIndy and maybe a couple others were in his league.

 

Speaking of Baltomoron trolls- seems they're laying low this week after Manning & the Donkeys put a whuppin' on them.

 

Now that Uma has resurfaced, all we need is the return of Lumbergh, and this would about make my week.

[The Gipper]

 

Not only do I live, I come in peace....mostly.

 

After all, who but the most cruel amongst us could wish further harm on a fanbase as pathetic as this one has become?

 

Just because the team is pathetic does not mean the fan base is. Frustrated, yes.

I am not that familiar with you....but I am going to make a guess that you are a freaking FRAK.

Others here that do know you can verify that, or not.

 

It's only funny because it's true.

 

Besides, it's not like I didn't try to warn you about what you'd become.

 

That being, a fake team without a soul forced to wander about in obscurity until your bad karma is addressed and corrected with offerings of scotch liquids and cigars.

 

Is that what your attitude is really all about? That you didn't get your booze and fags? (yes, my mother was English and she called her smokes fags).

Just go get some MD 20/20 and some cigarillos and get the fuck over it.

 

BTW, I found this board about seven years ago when a Bengal fan e-mailed the site address to me along with a few notes about how happy he'd be to see our hostilities resumed.

 

I happily declined the invitiation for more bloodshed, mostly because your team isn't relevant at all. However, I've lurked the site ever since, and despite my hatred for all things Brownie I have to admit I've grown to respect the way you losers have stuck together.

 

So? You say you are a Bengal fan? And you say the Browns are irrelevent? I guess I have to admire the dry wit and chutzpah it takes to make that statement. (and yes, Browns fans do stay together.....which I believe would be either anomolous or anathamatic to Bengal fans)

 

I'd even raise a toast in your honor of your birthday if that bastard Furnier had paid off his bet.

Just play The Ballad of Dwight Fry (appropriate for a Bengal fan that must live in that asylum), have a snifter of Bombay Sapphire...and move on with your life.

[The Gipper]

 

What would a Browns fan know about great quarterbacking?

 

Or even good quarterbacking for that matter.

 

Hell, the only Clevelander who currently knows how to fling a ball around is Bernies pornstar daughter.

The greatest QB ever played for the Browns....in terms of winning. But yes, it was long ago.

In Browns history they have had the likes of OG, Ryan, Sipe, Bernie.

I personally don't think the Bengals have ever had a QB as good as any of those 4.

Anderson and Esiason? At best it is debatable.

[The Gipper]

 

Did you know that in the near future all Clevelanders will grow eyes on the back of their pinheads to make looking backwards easier?

 

Anthropologists are already calling the result of this future evolution...Homo Gipperman.

I get it. The Bengals have no history worth looking back on. Nevertheless, though many of my football history lessons certainly do involve my team, the Browns, I do give vast amounts of time and space to the history of the rest of the league. A true fan has an interest in the history of the league. I am just sorry for you that the Bengals and their fans have had little or no room to participate.

[Umadogg]

 

I am not that familiar with you....but I am going to make a guess that you are a freaking FRAK.

Others here that do know you can verify that, or not.

 

Memory is a tricky thing for some of you. For example, all you seem capable of writing about is that day back in 1967 when Frank Ryan followed you into the bathroom and signed you program. That, or constantly reminding downtrodden Brownie youngsters about musty days from yesteryear, as if reading some trivial bullshit on a printed page or computer screen is enough to make them forget the miserable history of Cleveland football they've witnessed since their births. Fact is, no matter how often you point to a past filled with glory most of the fans here can't screw up much excitement when reading about the results of football games their grandfathers watched.

 

But it's all you've got, right?

[The Gipper]

 

Memory is a tricky thing for some of you. For example, all you seem capable of writing about is that day back in 1967 when Frank Ryan followed you into the bathroom and signed you program. That, or constantly reminding downtrodden Brownie youngsters about musty days from yesteryear, as if reading some trivial bullshit on a printed page or computer screen is enough to make them forget the miserable history of Cleveland football they've witnessed since their births. Fact is, no matter how often you point to a past filled with glory most of the fans here can't screw up much excitement when reading about the results of football games their grandfathers watched.

 

But it's all you've got, right?

Is what you are saying is that most fans are not nostalgic...either that or they don't have the brains to think past their nose.

If that is the case, then you and I are more alike than those people

You are nostalgic for that night you never had drinking Furnier's booze. You can't stop talking about it.

Its, like, you should be a Raven fan...you keep repeating "Evermore" over that sop.

I guess I just have nostalgia for something a little more intersting.

[Umadogg]

I get it. The Bengals have no history worth looking back on.

 

No, you didn't get it. But then again you never do.

 

The Bengals have a present and a future. They've been to the playoffs in 3 of the last 4 years and it's a good bet they'll get there again this season. And who knows, if things fall in their favor they might even make it to their 3rd Super Bowl, a game no Brown team has ever qualified for.

 

As for Cleveland, beaten down fans like Zombo have already written off this season and are now clamoring for the team to start a backup QB soley because that journeyman player might be a better mentor for whatever 30-year old rookie you'll draft next year.

[DieHardBrownsFan]

Fucking cintucky fans. What hill did this dumb ass crawl from under. Took him 10 years to find his way back.

[Umadogg]

Nevertheless, though many of my football history lessons certainly do involve my team, the Browns, I do give vast amounts of time and space to the history of the rest of the league. A true fan has an interest in the history of the league. I am just sorry for you that the Bengals and their fans have had little or no room to participate.

 

Stop it.

 

Your history lessons are just propoganda spewed in an attempt to convince readers that the Browns have a history worth remembering. The truth of the matter is they have no present and not much hope of a future. Further, you like to wax poetic about a glorious past while conveniently forgetting how the Browns fired the most legendary figure in it's history. Nor have you ever said much about the fact that every owner the Browns have ever had were overleveraged crooks, from Marty McBride and Art Modell, both of whom were rumored to be linked with organized crime, to the hillbilly business cheat who own the current team. In fact, the most honest man to ever own the Browns made his fortune charging obscene amounts of interest on credit card debt. To be fair, it's perfectly legal, but most things that exploit the poor are legal.

 

Truth is, none of you give a rats ass about who owns the franchise, then or now, despite the sad fact that incompetent ownership forced Paul Brown to Cincy, forced the real Browns to relocate to Baltimore, and eventually opened the door for rebate cheat Truck Stop Jimmy, the Browns most recent non-playing embarrassment.

 

As for the pinhead known as Furnier, he's simply a fan who conveniently symbolizes the stupidity, dishonesty, and random dipshittedness of the entire Brownie nation. His unwillingness to pay off even inexpensive debts of honor are the reasons he's been personally cursed to live a life of desperate poverty in some double-wide trailer in Port Clinton or some other obscure shithole. But bigger picture, the unwillingness of all pinheaded Brownie fans to come to grips with thier own morally bankrupt history is reason enough for your current curse to be both justified and damn funny.

 

That said, happy birthday, pinhead.

[Umadogg]

Fucking cintucky fans. What hill did this dumb ass crawl from under. Took him 10 years to find his way back.

 

Relax, I'm not staying very long.

 

All of you suicidal pinheads are far too depressing.

 

Worse, you're all still spewing the same shit that was leaking from your mouths ten years ago.

 

Worse still, we both know it's the same shit you'll still be spewing ten years from now.

[The Gipper]

 

No, you didn't get it. But then again you never do.

 

No, I got it. I just didn't give a damn about it.

 

The Bengals have a present and a future. They've been to the playoffs in 3 of the last 4 years and it's a good bet they'll get there again this season.

 

Well, that is a theory. Right now they have the same record as the Browns....with no guarantee that they will be as good as you think they will be.

 

And who knows, if things fall in their favor they might even make it to their 3rd Super Bowl, a game no Brown team has ever qualified for.

 

That is as speculative as saying if things fall the Browns way, then they will make that first Super Bowl. Hell, right now I think the chances are probably about equal. The difference is that Northeast Ohio has those 13 titles....and another 5 or 6 lost title games. to look back on.

 

As for Cleveland, beaten down fans like Zombo have already written off this season and are now clamoring for the team to start a backup QB soley because that journeyman player mightl be a better mentor for whatever 30-year old rookie you'll draft next year.

 

He is just commiserating over another opening game lost. What Z forgets is that the Browns are in first place in the division. He will be better sooner than later.

[The Gipper]

 

Stop it.

 

Your history lessons are just propoganda spewed in an attempt to convince readers that the Browns have a history worth remembering.

 

Well, they DO have a history worth remembering. It is something we have and something you ain't go.

Your spew is just propaganda in an attempt not to remind yourself that you have NO history worth remembering.

 

 

 

The truth of the matter is they have no present and not much hope of a future.

 

They have a decent shot for the present...they just lost one fucking game....and their future is every bit as bright as every other team in this division.

 

 

Further, you like to wax poetic about a glorious past while conveniently forgetting how the Browns fired the most legendary figure in it's history.

 

What on earth makes you think I have forgotten about it? I give that action the very same treatment I give any other historical moment in Browns history.

The fact that you may have missed any comment I may have made about that simply means you are not around here. That is your problem, not mine.

 

 

Nor have you ever said much about the fact that every owner the Browns have ever had were overleveraged crooks, from Marty McBride and Art Modell, both of whom were rumored to be linked with organized crime, to the hillbilly business cheat who own the current team. In fact, the most honest man to ever own the Browns made his fortune charging obscene amounts of interest on credit card debt. To be fair, it's perfectly legal, but most things that exploit the poor are legal.

 

Again, you ain't fucking been around. I, and others here have commented to a great extent on just those subjects. Go back and dig up those threads if you want.

You say you haven't been on here for 10 years...crying in your beer over a lost bottle of booze that whole time.

Why don't you go read the last 10 years of commentary before you tell us what we have and have not talked about here.

Take your time.

 

Truth is, none of you give a rats ass about who owns the franchise, then or now, despite the sad fact that incompetent ownership forced Paul Brown to Cincy, forced the real Browns to relocate to Baltimore, and eventually opened the door for rebate cheat Truck Stop Jimmy, the Browns most recent non-playing embarrassment.

 

No, I think we give a rat's ass to a point: We want the team to win and when they don't, we get pissed. Again, go back, read all the threads about Randy Lerner. It will give you some perspective. I am sure you would rather talk out of your ass....but when you do that you look to just be a talking ass.

 

As for the pinhead known as Furnier, he's simply a fan who conveniently symbolizes the stupidity, dishonesty, and random dipshittedness of the entire Brownie nation. His unwillingness to pay off even inexpensive debts of honor are the reasons he's been personally cursed to live a life of desperate poverty in some double-wide trailer in Port Clinton or some other obscure shithole. But bigger picture, the unwillingness of all pinheaded Brownie fans to come to grips with thier own morally bankrupt history is reason enough for your current curse to be both justified and damn funny.

 

That said, happy birthday, pinhead.

 

I suspect actually that Furnier simply has the same pentient for doing what his namesake sings about: torturing little flies. If you have been wondering what that pain in your gut has been the last ten years, it is not your stomachache in yearning for that bottle of hooch, it is Furniers pin planted squarely in your torso. You didn't know he was a lepidopterist.

[Umadogg]

 

 

No, I got it. I just didn't give a damn about it.

 

Exactly my point when I mock your selective memory.

 

 

 

Well, that is a theory. Right now they have the same record as the Browns....with no guarantee that they will be as good as you think they will be.

 

True, but expecting the Bengals to repeat something they've done 3 out of the last 4 years doesn't require nearly as much theoretical bullshit as this boards delusional ranting about how a perrenial last place team is suddenly going to win the division crown, especially when most of your desired improvement has to come from Jethro Bob Weeden.

 

 

 

What Z forgets is that the Browns are in first place in the division. He will be better sooner than later.

 

He'll be better sooner than later because it won't take long for most of you to accept your fate, which I'm guessing will be no different than it's been over the last 14 or 15 years. Hell, Zombo already seems close to being in full "wait till next year" mode.

[Zombo]

 

 

The Gipper, on 13 Sept 2013 - 4:30 PM, said:

 

What Z forgets is that the Browns are in first place in the division. He will be better sooner than later.

 

He'll be better sooner than later because it won't take long for most of you to accept your fate, which I'm guessing will be no different than it's been over the last 14 or 15 years. Hell, Zombo already seems close to being in full "wait till next year" mode.

 

 

 

I am in "win now" mode.

 

Zombo

[The Gipper]

 

Exactly my point when I mock your selective memory.

 

My memory is not selective. How I choose to respond to idiocy is.

 

 

 

True, but expecting the Bengals to repeat something they've done 3 out of the last 4 years doesn't require nearly as much theoretical bullshit as this boards delusional ranting about how a perrenial last place team is suddenly going to win the division crown, especially when most of your desired improvement has to come from Jethro Bob Weeden.

 

That is Leroy Jethro Weeden, cousin to Jethro Leroy Dalton. A couple of cookies made from the same batch.

(your advantage is with one AJ Green...admittedly. And at TE. Not at QB at all)

 

 

 

 

He'll be better sooner than later because it won't take long for most of you to accept your fate, which I'm guessing will be no different than it's been over the last 14 or 15 years. Hell, Zombo already seems close to being in full "wait till next year" mode.

 

Let's put it this way....if the Browns are not ready for prime time...and they may not be, I would rather have to begrudgeingly bite the bullet and have the Bengals prevail in the division over the Ravens and Steelers.

[Umadogg]

Well, they DO have a history worth remembering. It is something we have and something you ain't go.

 

Memories have their place, but you keep forgetting how many Brownie fans don't share your mostly forgotten past. All the pinheaded pups have known is a prolonged history of inept play and corrupt ownership.

 

 

They have a decent shot for the present...they just lost one fucking game....and their future is every bit as bright as every other team in this division.

 

If everything goes your way I'm guessing you'll climb out of the basement, much like a trio of kidnap victims, all the way to 3rd place.

 

 

 

What on earth makes you think I have forgotten about it? I give that action the very same treatment I give any other historical moment in Browns history.

 

Can I assume the "very same treatment" you speak of is best defined as empty spin? The fact of the matter is by putting the most positive spin on all things Brownie you continue to fool yourself into believing you don't deserve the fate that has befallen your once proud franchise. Truth be told, Cleveland deserved to lose it's football team because it blindly backed every action by a corrupt owner, and further...it completely deserves it's current cursed condition because the fanbase continues to ignore the lessons the feetball gods are attempting to teach.

 

 

 

Again, you ain't fucking been around. I, and others here have commented to a great extent on just those subjects. Go back and dig up those threads if you want.

 

Wrong again. I haven't posted here because there's no reason for me to post here. In fact, the only reason I used to blast away at you pinheads on the old AOL boards is because I liked the idea of fighting battles on your turf than on a Bengal board that at one time was littered to overflowing with Brownie shitheads. Happily, I was able to change that dynamic over time by being a much better berserker than any of you could ever dream of. But ignoring that for a moment, I've lurked on this board for years and I know for certain that none of you have ever accepted proper responsibilty for your role in fucking up the Brownstained franchise. And not until you accept that responsibility, and then attempt to make ammends, will your much deserved curse be lifted.

 

 

 

 

 

No, I think we give a rat's ass to a point: We want the team to win and when they don't, we get pissed. Again, go back, read all the threads about Randy Lerner. It will give you some perspective.

 

Giving a rats ass to a point sort of misses the point altogether. As fans each of you is equally as shitty as the owners you've made rich, yet you continue to think of yourselves as exceptional and unworthy of the shitty fate that now defines you. And again, I've been harmlessly lurking on this board for years so theres no need for me to read old threads where guys like you come within shouting distance of the truth, but never do what is required to bridge the gap.

 

 

I suspect actually that Furnier simply has the same pentient for doing what his namesake sings about: torturing little flies.

 

Who but an always looking backwards Brown fan even remembers what Alice Cooper sang about 40 years ago? All things considered ancient Alice is as obsolete and irrelevant as you football team, and Furnier's far too stupid and poor to torture the likes of me. At best, he can refuse to pay his debt to me, thereby proving he is what I've always known him to be.

[Umadogg]

I am in "win now" mode.

 

Zombo

 

 

Is that what you call bleating for Jason Campbell or Geno Smith?

[Umadogg]

My memory is not selective. How I choose to respond to idiocy is.

 

That's brave talk from someone that's been dubbed Dicklips.

 

 

 

That is Leroy Jethro Weeden, cousin to Jethro Leroy Dalton. A couple of cookies made from the same batch.

 

Hardly. Your ginger is big-armed moron while mine is a noodle-armed smart guy. Advantage me, I think.

 

 

 

Let's put it this way....if the Browns are not ready for prime time...and they may not be, I would rather have to begrudgeingly bite the bullet and have the Bengals prevail in the division over the Ravens and Steelers.

 

Well, I'm glad you've made peace with the idea of the Bengals winning the division again. That should come in handy later in the year.

[miktoxic]

 

The only reason you didn't throw in the towel is you were too drunk to lift your arms.

 

 

 

 

Your Ginger couldn't read a comic book, nevermind an NFL defense.

 

But don't take my word for it, read your own posts.

 

 

 

 

 

Hell, the only Clevelander who currently knows how to fling a ball around is Bernies pornstar daughter.

 

 

 

God doesn't even exist...yet somehow he still hates you.

 

 

i don't who this guy is but he's one funny fuck!

i didn't think anyone could ever top ghoulie but an umadogg vs. ghoulie verbal bashing thread would be a fun read.

[Umadogg]

Strange but true.

 

Not once during my entire history of Brownie bashing on the old AOL boards did Ghoolie ever attempt to spar with me.

 

At first I thought he was ducking me, but after a few years passed without incident I just wrote it off as a professional courtesy.

[mjp28]

Yes, I actually thought this board had been around longer than what you say. Since the late 90's I thought. I joined the AOL board around '94 or '95, then I thought this came on around '99 or so. I guess not.(By the way, the AOL board still exists)

Quiet night in 2017 and I stumbled into this thread, reminds me of the old ESPN boards in the late 1990s and 2000s which got out of hand and now I believe are completely extinct.

 

A lot more online stuff out there now I hope boards like this one can hang in there.

[The Gipper]

Quiet night in 2017 and I stumbled into this thread, reminds me of the old ESPN boards in the late 1990s and 2000s which got out of hand and now I believe are completely extinct.

 

A lot more online stuff out there now I hope boards like this one can hang in there.

ESPN or AOL? AOL is where many of us came from.

[Flyin J]

Quiet night in 2017 and I stumbled into this thread, reminds me of the old ESPN boards in the late 1990s and 2000s which got out of hand and now I believe are completely extinct.

 

A lot more online stuff out there now I hope boards like this one can hang in there.

Man I spent a lot of time on those ESPN boards. I actually switched to this board after we were shut down over there.

[The Gipper]

The core came from AOL.

 

Stan, Hoorta. Zomblow, KS, ONE4Kay, WSS, Chicopee, Eric, Doug, on it goes. The rest of you homos came from the land of make believe.

YOU? I is not YOU. I was there along with the rest of you on AOL. The thing is, I kind of stuck with AOL longer than the rest of you, even though I was one of the original signees on to this board.

Ultimately I only left AOL because they kicked me off for hammering the shit out of Steeler fans....of whom there were a couple of real cunts who went crying to AOL about me being mean to them.

[mjp28]

Man I spent a lot of time on those ESPN boards. I actually switched to this board after we were shut down over there.

Yeah ESPN used to be nice way earlier until they became virtually mod free and trolls, sales people and other idiots began to take over and kill it.

 

The biggest challenge to forums like this are now Facebook, twitter, instigram, snap and god only knows what else. I wonder what ever happened to MySpace?

[The Gipper]

Yeah ESPN used to be nice way earlier until they became virtually mod free and trolls, sales people and other idiots began to take over and kill it.

 

The biggest challenge to forums like this are now Facebook, twitter, instigram, snap and god only knows what else. I wonder what ever happened to MySpace?

There was no space left on it for you. So, in your case, you have to call it YourSpace. GGGGuh.