Flugel Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Every time I made a decision to purchase a player's jersey here or somebody bought me one - he got freakin cursed. Consequently, I donated his jersey to a Mentally Retarded/Developmentally Disabled adult. While the cognitive levels might not have changed much between me and the new owner of the jersey - the appreciation of the jersey improved drastically. Here's a look down memory lane of why I won't buy another jersey any time soon and why you might want to appreciate that: Tim Couch - This Dumb Ass' very first football post in cyberspace was "Couch Makes Sense" heading into the 99 draft. While he had his moments playing around some bad teams here, he landed on IR 2 or 3 times. He also had a knack for coming down with tennis elbow when he had endure starting QB reps in training camp. He was never awful per say; and seemed to be a likable kid that wanted to succeed. This is where your buddy Flugel got muy estupido. The NFL team that drafted after us in 99 had the worst record in 98. They drafted Donovan McNabb from the unconventional Veer Option while we must have sent our cleaning staff to evaluate his pre-draft workouts. Being from Upstate NY - SU was always my 1B favorite college team to Ohio State so don't you think I should have seen the next Brett Favre coming out of an unconventional passing offense like Andy Reid did? Of course not. If I had to peg QBs for a living - I'd be sleeping under bridges. So Couch' #2 always reminds me that the #1 QB in his draft class came at the #2 pick. I'd love to excuse it all to a bad team; but Philly's record in 1998 wasn't exactly slam dunking a dream like setting. As early as 2000, McNabb led Philly to the playoffs for a stretch of something like 9 of the next 10 seasons (inclusive of 5 NFC Championship Game Appearances and 1 Superbowl). In terms of first round QBs, he was the next best thing to Peyton Manning or perhaps just the NFC version. My favorite part of all that was nobody cried harder in their beers on draft day than Philly fan. Donovan McNabb was no Ricky Williams nor was there an upcoming marijuana sabbatical leave anywhere in his NFL future. Jamir Miller - After becoming everything we needed from Courtney Brown as a Pro Bowl pass rusher off the edge, he blew out his achilles tendon in the preseason on Minnesota's dome turf. I might have said phuck in 6 different languages but the curse in Cleveland was on. I was starting to wonder 2 things: 1) if Paul Brown was haunting Art Modell and 2) If anybody informed him that Modell moved his franchise to Baltimore - especially since the Heavens have blessed that dump ever since... William Green - Still can't forget Mike Golic's summary of this young man after covering a few BC games with his buddy Bill Curry. He was one of the most explosive RBs at the point of attack. Ironically, that became his biggest challenge at the onset of his NFL career before he concluded his rookie season averaging 100 yards rushing per game over the final stretch of 6 games as a wide eyed rookie. In the Atlanta game we needed in order to make the playoffs, Tim Couch got injured in the first half leaving a second half deficit to overcome. William Green ran for 163 yards that day with a 74 yard TD. Big reason we made the playoffs in 2002. In 2003, Green began the year rushing for over 100 yards vrs Oakland and Pittsburgh before he played leapfrog with a unicorn. His gene pool had 2 parents with HIV/AIDS that both opted to expedite their deaths by IV drug use in the streets rather than choosing to have their disease treated. Normally kids coming out of that kind of family background aren't playing their way through a DI scholarship and onto a first round draft status in the NFL unless their name is Dez Bryant or something. Unfortunately, the inherited chemical dependency and choice of girl friend/spouse knocked what looked to be the onset of a good NFL career right out of bounds. Last I heard, he was working as a social worker in a fate where he helps kinds find who they are and what kind of skills they offer. That may have sucked for Browns fans like you and me; but it's a story I can appreciate if he stayed clean. At least we'll always have the memory of him punching Joey Pottymouth Porter in the face before a game. LeCharles Bentley - I talked my dad and my cousin into riding up to training camp in Berea to witness his greatness the first day of training camp. We couldn't make the morning practice departing from Rochester NY - but we were soooo pumped to see the evening practice. When we got to Berea we had time to go the store and purchase whatever Cleveland jerseys and apparel we deemed necessary. When I asked where I could find Bentley's jersey - we were informed of the football tragedy that took place that morning in a practice without contact. Career over. I never even got to buy his jersey; but my decision to go try and purchase it seemed to be all that was necessary for all donesy-daisies. Kellen Winslow II - Was there ever a more likable dumb ass in team history? This knucklehead went over 1 speed bump and landed on IR. Then, he wanted to play STs the way Bill Belichick dreams a first round player is motivated to play them so Butch Davis wasn't any different in welcoming such a mindset. Well, we won the game because of it if memory serves me right here. Unfortunately, we lost Winslow and it was only week 1 or 2 of the season. It took 3 years to get 1 full season out of this guy at about 60% of his predraft capabilities. I have no doubt this guy would have been a tremendous help at setting the edge with our OT before he had something like 5 surgeries on 1 knee as well as the staph infections he endured/overcame. At this point, I'm getting fluent at cursing in other languages. Speaking of cursing, if Paul Brown thought he was still haunting Art Modell from the grave - it REALLY sucks that nobody told him Modell moved his team to Baltimore back in the mid 90s. Even worse and ever since, there isn't a team the Heavens above have blessed more than that. When you're winning a Superbowl in spite of Trent Dilfer - that's Divine Intervention at it's highest point and we had to gag on it. Keep in mind, we traded up to draft KWII while Pittsburgh had enough brave motorcycle rider in mind that could lead his team to 3 Superbowls (and win 2 of them with special thanks to officials like Dewey Cheatem and Howie Phuckem). Braylon Edwards - When this guy showed up - he had a fierce agenda to prove why we drafted him at #3 overall in the very same draft we could have explored traded back, added picks plus Aaron Rodgers. But we're Cleveland and Phil Savage was quick to say he got the safest pick in the draft. Almost as soon as Braylon was getting game reps and sporting big promise - I bought his jersey. Then he blew out a knee going up for the ball in traffic and it was another big time hopeful heading to IR. The GOOD news at least early on was this cat was driven and he was right back out there in week 1 of the next season. He and Charlie Frye hooked up for a seemingly long TD reception against the Saints in the opener but a penalty negated that. The good news was it looked like he might have been a head of schedule on the full recovery that usually took 2 years post major knee reconstruction at that time. As the season played out, he still needed another year of hard work conditioning/rehabbing that knee to full recovery. In 2007, he became the only Cleveland WR of my lifetime that could give us 16 TD receptions in 1 season. It's often said the mark of a true champion is how he can pick himself off the ground once he has been planted there. Braylon did that with glowing colors going from the devastating injury in 2005 to a well earned Pro Bowl in 2007. Unfortunately, he was a lot worse at handling success than he was at coming back from injury. The next thing I know in 2008 is this guy suddenly couldn't catch in 2008 while he was getting more headlines for barfights. And who could forget what a great drinking partner Tequila Sunrise Stallworth became (in between power-soaking us for signing bonues at the exchange value of 1 TD reception in 2 years under contract). I really wished 2 things about the upper back of my #17 jersey: 1) It remained nameless so I could tell people it was for the only MVP I've seen play football in Cleveland or 2) it read DUMBASS. Either would have done the job. I don't think there's ever been another player here that left me as polarized as Edwards did. At least it prepared me to handle the Johnny Football turned Johnny Blutarsky story in 2014 in terms of expectations. Johnny Manziel - My very thoughtful wife, also known as Anita Beer during football season, bought me his jersey last year. Almost as soon as I got it, the non-fiction sequel to Animal House starring Manziel was all over cyber-space and in the news. Lucky for Manziel, we have Farmer and Pettine in charge of surrounding him with the right people and setting realistic goals. Who knows where that goes and what it leads to; but we've seen Brett Favre cpr his career in GB under the right leadership (long before the vicodine required rinse and repeatsies). Needless to say, I'm 1 jersey away from being a Jeff Foxworthy punchline all this time I've failed to be smarter than a 2nd grader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canton Mike Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Tom, The "umbrella" (owners, front offices & coaches) protecting your purchases in past years were very leaky & susceptible to lightning strikes. The umbrella in place now has been strong & just appears to be getting stronger yet, so go BUY that new jersey! Something tells me you should hang onto Johnny's jersey as well. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted July 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Tom, The "umbrella" (owners, front offices & coaches) protecting your purchases in past years were very leaky & susceptible to lightning strikes. The umbrella in place now has been strong & just appears to be getting stronger yet, so go BUY that new jersey! Something tells me you should hang onto Johnny's jersey as well. Mike Thanks Mike! That was a great reminder of why this message board packs a second opinion worth reading. I usually kept the jerseys until it was curtains; so I still have Manziel's. I really wish they would stop putting names on the upper back so jerseys like #17 and #34 would remain a timeless/good investment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted July 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 I'm waiting for an innovative soul to invent a jersey with 3 digits for the big uglies. I could even be hip to a decimal so we could power squeeze Danny Shelton into a 3.14. How fun would it be to see Ben Rapen swallowed by a very large orange and brown pie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wargograw Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Dont listen toMike. Please don't buy any more jerseys. .,,,,but if you do, buy them through the Browns board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Go 'Losers Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 To be fair, buying the jersey of a new player immediately before he's had a change to play for a season is not a wise idea for any fanbase. It doesn't matter if you're a Browns fan or a freakin' Patriots fan! Granted there are some rare exceptions but even the most promising players have to be judged for an appropriate amount of time before their jerseys are bought. As for the Manziel jersey...well I'm afraid fans are just gonna have to own up to that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyceRolls Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Yeah, gotta love the enthusiasm of a Browns fan who buys a new QBs jersey before he even takes a snap, but you had to have known that it was a shaky investment at best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LogicIsForSquares Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Wear a Roethlisburger jersey, please. Maybe rotate it with your Flacco jersey haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calfoxwc Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 I have two couch jerseys... one white, one brown...I quit after that fiasco... and it wasn't couch's fault. Eventually, I'm probably going to have those jersey's repainted with "Cleveland Browns #1"... and start again .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comeonman Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Wear a Roethlisburger jersey, please. Maybe rotate it with your Flacco jersey haha.We will all pitch in and buy you both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wideload Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Ah yes, the jersey curse. Mine started with Couch and has snow balled from there. Quinn, Richardson, 2 Josh Cribbs (though I don't count those as failures). But my favorite is #12. Has McCoy on the back but put a piece of duct tape over it to write Gordon on it and I think he got busted an hour after that. Oh well,should have gotten a Thomas jersey as that number will never be used again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted July 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Yeah, gotta love the enthusiasm of a Browns fan who buys a new QBs jersey before he even takes a snap, but you had to have known that it was a shaky investment at best. True. I bought the Couch jersey and my wife bought me the Manziel jersey. I've made it a point NOT to be a Joe Thomas jersey and the big feller has 8 consecutive Pro Bowls. I'm not buying any current jerseys. Our teams have done well when I just purchased Browns t-shirts and sweaters so I'll stick with what worked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted July 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Wear a Roethlisburger jersey, please. Maybe rotate it with your Flacco jersey haha. LMAO! I can't think of a better thing to wipe my ass with after a power dump. Thatta boy Logic! Let me clarify the bad omen here just a little bit. It ain't about what I wear - it's about what I buy. If we have a QB hanging out with a Bubblegum Music poster brat - his jersey stays benched as long as he does. When he chooses to hang out with grown men or take on a leader of men role he was drafted for - I'll reconsider. I haven't given up on him yet - but how many guys like to wear jerseys of backups on game day? My guess is if I took inventory of Derek Anderson jerseys sold - I'd get a sum of how many family members he has. The good news in this scenario is I didn't buy Manziel's jersey - it was a gift so I'm feeling better about the prognosis. I will also confess he was my favorite QB prospect in that draft class. He had me at the sight of Nick Saban in check mate at home. I just might have to go out and buy a Ben Rapen and Joey Bottaflacco jersey. I'll straighten out those color schemes right before I position the Ratbird and Steeler fan clubs down wind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Italian DawgPound Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 I perfectly understand what you mean. My last three purchases were Courtney Brown, Kellen Winslow and Brady Quinn... I stopped buying jerseys before it got worse than that... :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudfly Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 I still have a few unworn "American Hoyer Story" shirts....anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrb12711 Posted July 13, 2015 Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Haha I've felt your same pain-for me it was Tim Couch, Courtney Brown and Braylon Edwards before I gave up on buying one. Thomas is a lock pick for a "safe" jersey but I really don't know if I want an OL jersey. I do like those jersey shirts now though so at least if the guy crashes and burns you aren't out a bunch of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tour2ma Posted July 13, 2015 Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 I'm waiting for an innovative soul to invent a jersey with 3 digits for the big uglies. I could even be hip to a decimal so we could power squeeze Danny Shelton into a 3.14. How fun would it be to see Ben Rapen swallowed by a very large orange and brown pie? Truly cringe-worthy... I loved it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gipper Posted July 13, 2015 Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Flugel.....my honest view is that buying player's jerseys are for kids and teenagers....and since I suspect you are older than a teenager, just buy something else. You know like Browns poncho, or a fedora, or lederhosen or something. Not a jersey. By the way, I have one of these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furnier Posted July 14, 2015 Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 I think the last 'player' jersey I bought was Hanford Dixon back in the late 80's. Loved his attitude and that number looked good to me somehow. Ever since I have been buying personalized jerseys. Started using the number 40 back in 2002 because that's the year I turned 40 and no one at that time had worn the 40 for the Browns in an eon. The Peyton Hillis furor kinda ruined that number for me so with my new ones I chose 62, which is my birth year and it's unlikely any glamour player will wear that number ever. I am clearly far removed from my teenage years but I wear what I like. I still buy and wear concert tour shirts too. I may be approaching 53 but I will ALWAYS wear my passions on my sleeve. The Browns, Alice Cooper or what have you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gipper Posted July 14, 2015 Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Semi-personalized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miktoxic Posted July 14, 2015 Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 I still have a few unworn "American Hoyer Story" shirts....anyone? now that was a great idea. i remember one of the guys from england in a photo that was posted in the tailgate section of them all huddlin up at a bar and he had a 'personalized' shirt saying "i flew _____ miles to watch the browns score 3 points." i mean how depressing would THAT be if you saved up all year and played pittsburgh and the browns scored a field goal on the way to a rout by a division opponent. ugggh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaconHound Posted July 14, 2015 Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Not a jinx, the Browns have drafted two legit franchise players Haden and Thomas in 16 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miktoxic Posted July 14, 2015 Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 16 years? uh, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted July 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Flugel.....my honest view is that buying player's jerseys are for kids and teenagers....and since I suspect you are older than a teenager, just buy something else. You know like Browns poncho, or a fedora, or lederhosen or something. Not a jersey. By the way, I have one of these. LOL! I agree Gipper. I try buy sweaters, sweat shirts, golf shirts and t-shirts that have the team name, colors or old logo on them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaconHound Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 16 years? uh, no. Unfortunately, um yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miktoxic Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 mack? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 JFF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gipper Posted July 15, 2015 Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 LOL! I agree Gipper. I try buy sweaters, sweat shirts, golf shirts and t-shirts that have the team name, colors or old logo on them What are you laughing at? Do I amuse you? Do you think I'm funny, you know, like a clown? (Insert Joe Pesci cackle here) I have one of these ponchos.....I bought it from a street vendor on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. Have any of you bought any Browns gear from an unusual source? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flugel Posted July 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 What are you laughing at? Do I amuse you? Do you think I'm funny, you know, like a clown? (Insert Joe Pesci cackle here) I have one of these ponchos.....I bought it from a street vendor on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. Have any of you bought any Browns gear from an unusual source? The lederhosen comment. Hell yeah! You're a funny dude. We're definitely on the same page about wearing logo stuff rather than jerseys. Appreciated your feedback man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaconHound Posted July 16, 2015 Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 mack? Mack, is a very reliable guy but to be a franchise player you need to play a marquee position and center just isn't QB, RB, WR, DE, DB or LT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.