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THE BROWNS BOARD

This Week in the AFC North


Zombo

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Like the Browns, the Great Zomboni's new team is on a learning curve. We seem to have the Bungles and Ratbirds nailed. Cincy is not as dangerous as last year and Baltiwhore was over-rated and we are turning that into dollars.

 

Which leaves the Browns and Steelers. Our assessment of the Steelers is that they are the third best team in the division and the shoe is going to drop when the schedule toughens up. Their defense is average, they are one key offensive injury toward finishing 7-9.

 

The Browns will be the most-improved team in the division, and the conference, in the second half of the season. They've got the playmakers, Kessler is stabilizing the QB position and we expect the defense to come together as the season moves along.

 

So when do they get their first win? That's easy ... they Take The Tits Out this Sunday.

 

Speaking of which, Zoey made the right call on the Bungles last week, so we are making her our full time advance scout for the Bungles, look for her on the sideline.

 

d96b2f866562fb39055e013649141c25.jpg

 

Now let's see what the Crystal globes .. er, balls ... er Crystal Ball says this week:

 

Pittsburgh at Miami, 1:00 PM

Another softie for Pittsburgh, but I don't think they get away so easily this week. The Dolphins will bring a pass rush, and I am seeing what looks to be a broken ankle for Ben R. late in the third quarter. Followed by a winning field goal drive for Tannehill in the fourth quarter. DOLPHINS 18 STEELERS 17

 

Cincinnati at New England, 1:00 PM

Tom Brady is just warming up, and he won't disappoint the home crowd. Anyone else thinking that Wild Card game that Cincy blew last year was the last chance for the Bungles to win a playoff game for a long, long, long, long time? PATRIOTS 44 BUNGLES 17

 

Baltimore at New York Giants, 1:00 PM

This is one of those "correction" games. Before the season, I told you the Giants would be very good and the Ravens would be pretty damn mediocre. So here the Rats sit at 3-2 and the Giants at 2-3, and you are going to watch each team move fast in the opposite direction. Back Up The Truck on the G-Men at home this week. GIANTS 34 RAVENS 20

 

Cleveland at Tennessee, 1:00 PM

Fans of the Browns have been fretting about offensive line injuries and two rookies as the depth chart at QB. Don't worry about it ... Cody Kessler plays with the poise of a six-year veteran and the Browns should be able to run on the Tits regardless of who is blocking up front. Superstar-type day from Pryor, and five sacks and two turnovers for the Browns defense. BROWNS 30 TITANS 17

 

TGZ

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I see this happening this weekend. This would be the best way to start our march to the top of the AFCN. Coming back from the deepest recesses of Hell this weekend boys. Halloween is coming.

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I see this happening this weekend. This would be the best way to start our march to the top of the AFCN. Coming back from the deepest recesses of Hell this weekend boys. Halloween is coming.

Fuck yeah!...if the Squeelers in 2013 could start the season at 0-4 and end up competing for the playoffs, so could those Cleveland Browns!

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OK here we go again with "one man's opinion". ......

 

...... Usually its no big deal to play Cleveland. Not so for Tennessee. The Titans have had this game circled and the timing is ripe for them to steamroll the overmatched Browns. Tennessee is coming off its best offensive game, scoring 30 points and piling up nearly 400 yards on the road against the Dolphins. (Really they circled this game?)

 

Tennessee has lost to the Browns each of the past two seasons. Now they have a golden opportunity to reverse those fortunes. Cleveland is the worst team in the NFL, losers of 14 of its past 15 and seven straight. The Browns were down to third-string rookie quarterback Cody Kessler. Now he may not play after getting knocked out of last weeks blowout home loss to the Patriots with a rib and chest injury. That would leave 34-year-old Charlie Whitehurst as the Browns likely starting quarterback. Whitehurst isnt washed-up because he never was good in the first place. The Titans are familiar with how bad Whitehurst is since he played for them last season earning the well-deserved nickname of Checkdown Charlie for his lack of downfield throws. (Sorry, Charlie already got his pay and checked out.)

 

The Titans defense is better this season helped by Dick LeBeau coming over to lend his long-time expertise. Jurrell Casey, Brian Orakpo and Derrick Morgan are one of the more underrated pass rushing trios in the league. Cleveland has no rhythm on offense, now on its fourth quarterback already. (Dick LeBeau? Isn't he like 90? )

 

The Titans are too physical for the Browns on the other side of the ball too, with a power ground attack spearheaded by DeMarco Murray and dual threat quarterback Marcus Mariota. The Browns have surrendered 13 touchdown passes. Theyve given up at least 25 points in every game ranking among the bottom-five in points and yards allowed. The Titans are an improved team. This is their moment.....

 

Alright enough of that logic crap and time for some good ol' guessing or maybe an ouija board.

 

CLEVELAND +7 at Tennessee, yeah some people never learn ZAP-ZAP-ZAP damn that hurts.

Cincinnati +8' at NE

Miami +7' vs Pittsburgh

NY Giants -3 vs Baltimore

 

And the try to get even 4 teamer long shot SEA -6 + KC +1 + CAR -3 and finally again CHI -2'

TIP of the day: never bet the rent and grocery money unless you like to be wet and hungry :huh:

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**2016 Week 5** ... Prev .... This ..... YTD
Straight-up ............ 8 - 8 ..... 1 - 3 .... 9-11
Vs. the spread ...... 4 - 12 .... 2 - 2 .... 6-14

 

 

Thus begins my experiment with "the opposite". Monday I made my weekly Yahoo Pro picks as per usual. Yesterday before the start of the THF game I reversed every one of them. Thanks to SD and "the opposite"... so far so good...

 

PTG @ MIA (+7.5)

Looks to be a titanic mismatch verging on a bye week... so clearly the opposite is true and Miami gives the Steelers all they can handle.

Prediction: PTG 34 MIA 30

 

CIN @ NE (-8.5)

Brady's back... Cinci is in the doldrums... so clearly the rout is on in Foxboro...

Not so fast my friend...

Prediction: NE 31 CIN 27

 

BLT @ NYG (-3)

I've spent the year picking NYG to win and BLT to lose. Therefore...

Prediction: BLT 20 NYG 17

 

CLE @ TN (-7)

I had us and the points, but you know... the opposite.

Prediction: TN 27 CLE 17

 

Hey... when you don't have an able-bodied assistant, then you do what you can.

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Speaking of which, Zoey made the right call on the Bungles last week, so we are making her our full time advance scout for the Bungles, look for her on the sideline.

 

Buy the girl a back brace for Christmas...

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d96b2f866562fb39055e013649141c25.jpg

 

Now let's see what the Crystal globes .. er, balls ... er Crystal Ball says this week:

ZOINKS SHAGGY, ZOEY'S ZOINK'S ARE A HAPPILY MARRIED PAIR? well damn Z you are Charlie Sheen..Winning!!

Pittsburgh at Miami, 1:00 PM

34 20

 

Cincinnati at New England, 1:00 PM

23 36

 

Baltimore at New York Giants, 1:00 PM

17 27

 

Cleveland at Tennessee, 1:00 PM

23 20

ZOEY WELCOME TO A TITS WEEKEND!!

 

Hoping on 4 good quarters of football but this just reeks of 5 quarters..Go Browns!! DAWGS IN TENN. WE WANT TO HEAR YOU ALLDAY!!

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Six games this week have a 7 to 8 point spread, kind of high for a bye week.

 

The Browns are a 7' point dog again. Oh the BROWNS are 1-4 ATS, 2O 3U ,YTD. :huh:

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So Tour----you gonna go in to Haslem and tell him what a rotten blow up job he supports every year... and get hired as his new talent evaluator? :lol:

 

GM or nothing... ;)

 

... and he has to come to me.

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**2016 Week 5** ... Prev .... This ..... YTD
Straight-up ............ 8 - 8 ..... 1 - 3 .... 9-11
Vs. the spread ...... 4 - 12 .... 2 - 2 .... 6-14

 

"If every instinct you have is wrong... then the opposite would have to be right."

 

Turns out... not so much. Sad thing is it made little difference.

PTG @ MIA (+7.5)
Prediction: PTG 34 MIA 30

Final: MIA 30 PTG 15 - L/W

CIN @ NE (-8.5)
Prediction: NE 31 CIN 27

Final: NE 35 CIN 17 - W/L

BLT @ NYG (-3)
Prediction: BLT 20 NYG 17

Final: NYG 27 BLT 23 - L/L

CLE @ TN (-7)
Prediction: TN 27 CLE 17

Final: TN 28 CLE 26 - W/L

Anyone have lucky coin I can borrow?

 

**2016 Week 6** ... Prev ..... This ..... YTD
Straight-up ............ 9 - 11 .... 2 - 2 ... 11-13
Vs. the spread ...... 6 - 14 .... 2 - 2 .... 8-16

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Four for Four. Promotion in line for Zoey.

 

Better put her promotion on a line well in front of her or she'll never see it...

 

I think you're having a good year... even called an injury this week albeit a tad down the leg from where it occurred... but without an accountant to keep track who knows for sure. Maybe Zoey has a sister you could hire? Maybe even a twin?

 

Given the lack of noise you can expect this week from outsiders, you should have time to hold interviews.

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Better put her promotion on a line well in front of her or she'll never see it...

 

I think you're having a good year... even called an injury this week albeit a tad down the leg from where it occurred... but without an accountant to keep track who knows for sure. Maybe Zoey has a sister you could hire? Maybe even a twin?

 

Given the lack of noise you can expect this week from outsiders, you should have time to hold interviews.

 

Accountant?

 

Hmmm ... She did mention a Cousin Zola.

 

307535_05.jpg

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