One Post Posted January 23, 2016 Report Share Posted January 23, 2016 I had a great experience earlier today. I was grocery shopping without the wife (awesome) and felt something too famiar happening on top of my intestines. It first started as an innocent toot of human gas then I realized its something a lot bigger than a fart by the dairy products while contemplating the one percent milk again. I pushed my cart across the long trek to the restrooms. It seemed like forever to get there and It was a chore just trying not to walk in a manner that would fully awake all my bowels senses. My buttocks and legs seemed to be in sync together like a pair of sissors walking. Parking the cart unguarded with no option or care it was sideways near an isle. I didn't mind it wasn't like I had a purse to keep a good eye on. Doing something rarely done and doing it with caution; I enter a public restroom. It smelled ok but I didnt have the time to be a harsh critic. The stall I picked was the handicapped stall because it was the closest one. The seat was warm and it's the first thing I noticed. The toliet was the right height and perfectly clean. With absolutely no reluctance I did the deed. It was a clean, no push and full impact on water with no splashback. The movement that had just happened was meant to happen. With plenty of toilet paper everything was going my way, I mean I was totally alone the whole time too. The only problem I had was the turd took two flushes to rid it away from anyone other than me getting a glimpse of the mahogany brown beast. One flush to break it in two, the other to flush. Leaving the restroom after washing my hands in a clean zink feeling guilty of the swirly left behind, it was all smiles and thrifty spending while even taking the time to nod at familiar faces. I no longer had just a grocery cart but now it was a chariot of food! After feeling young again loading the plastic bags of thought out shopping I got into my wife's car. She traded cars for the day with me because, well because she does that sometimes. I stopped to visit one of my sons on the way home which is a usual weekend occurance and told him about the experience and he said, "TMI". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHardBrownsFan Posted February 27, 2016 Report Share Posted February 27, 2016 Here I sit broken hearted. Tried to shit but only farted. Then one day I took a chance. Tried to fart and shit my pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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