Something Rotten : Public Restrooms

[One Post]

I had a great experience earlier today. I was grocery shopping without the wife (awesome) and felt something too famiar happening on top of my intestines. It first started as an innocent toot of human gas then I realized its something a lot bigger than a fart by the dairy products while contemplating the one percent milk again.

 

I pushed my cart across the long trek to the restrooms. It seemed like forever to get there and It was a chore just trying not to walk in a manner that would fully awake all my bowels senses. My buttocks and legs seemed to be in sync together like a pair of sissors walking. Parking the cart unguarded with no option or care it was sideways near an isle. I didn't mind it wasn't like I had a purse to keep a good eye on. Doing something rarely done and doing it with caution; I enter a public restroom.

 

It smelled ok but I didnt have the time to be a harsh critic. The stall I picked was the handicapped stall because it was the closest one. The seat was warm and it's the first thing I noticed. The toliet was the right height and perfectly clean. With absolutely no reluctance I did the deed. It was a clean, no push and full impact on water with no splashback. The movement that had just happened was meant to happen.

 

With plenty of toilet paper everything was going my way, I mean I was totally alone the whole time too. The only problem I had was the turd took two flushes to rid it away from anyone other than me getting a glimpse of the mahogany brown beast. One flush to break it in two, the other to flush.

 

Leaving the restroom after washing my hands in a clean zink feeling guilty of the swirly left behind, it was all smiles and thrifty spending while even taking the time to nod at familiar faces. I no longer had just a grocery cart but now it was a chariot of food!

 

After feeling young again loading the plastic bags of thought out shopping I got into my wife's car. She traded cars for the day with me because, well because she does that sometimes.

 

I stopped to visit one of my sons on the way home which is a usual weekend occurance and told him about the experience and he said, "TMI".

[DieHardBrownsFan]

Here I sit broken hearted. Tried to shit but only farted. Then one day I took a chance. Tried to fart and shit my pants.