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The Great Zomboni Predicts 2014


Zombo

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The Great Zomboni Ranks Them

 

1. Seattle Seahawks … I never pick repeat champions. Until now.

2. Denver Broncos … Improved D means SB Rematch.

3. New England Patriots … Cakewalk division leads to Brady joining Manning atop AFC again.

4. New Orleans Saints … Brees and gang will be powerful force in NFC.

5. Green Bay Packers … Rodgers will still be lighting up scoreboards.

6. Chicago Bears … High-Powered Bears will entertain but fall short.

7. Indianapolis Colts … More weapons than rest of division combined

8. San Francisco 49ers … Harbaugh’s boys will lose paces with Seattle but beat up the weak.

9. Cleveland Browns … Young Browns will ride dominant defense to surprising heights.

10. Cincinnati Bengals … Talented Bungles still can’t get to the next level.

11. Dallas Cowboys … If Romo stays healthy they are the toast of the East this year.

12. Atlanta Falcons … solid team that will resume winning ways

13. Washington Redskins … Lots of talent on the roster, Gruden gives them a spark.

14. Detroit Lions … Offense could be scary, but something always holds them back

15. San Diego Chargers … Good enough to grab that Wild Card again

16. Philadelphia Eagles … I see defenses catching up with Chip’s schemes.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers … Once proud franchise is now the face of mediocrity, 8-8 again.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers … solid team this year but nowhere to go in tough NFC.

19. Arizona Cardinals … Talented but mistake prone team takes a step back.

20. Kansas City Chiefs … This team could go in any direction … I’ll pick down.

21. Baltimore Ravens … some surprising holes for the retooling Ratbirds

22. New York Jets … Quarterback performance will be their downfall.

23. Jacksonville Jaguars … Young Jags make a major move in their division

24. Carolina Panthers … Lack of weapons bite them in the buttocks

25. Minnesota Vikings … Free Adrian Peterson!

26. Houston Texans … Won’t be an overnight job for O’Brien

27. St. Louis Rams … Rough road with a backup QB.

28. New York Giants … Ugly ending for Coughlin

29. Miami Dolphins … Tannehill fails to turn the corner.

30. Tennesee Titans … Gonna be a big job for Whisenhutt to get this headed back up.

31. Oakland Raiders … Failure to launch once again for troubled franchise.

32. Buffalo Bills … E.J. Manuel sets them back a year.

 

 

The Great Zomboni Predicts them

 

AFC

 

New England* 12 - 4

NY Jets 7-9

Miami 5-11

Buffalo 3-13

 

Cleveland* 10-6

Cincinnati* 10-6

Pittsburgh 8-8

Baltimore 7 - 9

 

Indy * 11 - 5

Jax 7-9

Hou 5-11

Tenn 4-12

 

Denver * 12-4

San Diego* 9-7

Kansas City 7-9

Oakland 4-12

 

NFC

 

Dallas* 9-7

Wash 9-7

Philly 8-8

NY Giants 5-11

 

 

Green Bay* 11 - 5

Chicago * 11-5

Detroit 9-7

Minnesota 5-11

 

New Orleans* 11-5

Atlanta 9-7

Tampa Bay 7-9

Carolina 6-10

 

Seattle* 13-3

San Francisco* 10-6

Arizona 7-9

St. Louis 5-11

 

AFC Wild Card Round

Indy over San Diego

Cleveland over Cincinnati

 

NFC Wild Card Round

Green Bay over San Francisco

Chicago over Dallas

 

AFC Divisional Round

Denver over Cleveland

New England over Indy

 

NFC Divisional Round

Seattle over Chicago

New Orleans over Green bay

 

AFC Championship

Denver over New England

 

NFC Championship

Seattle over New Orleans

 

Super Bowl

Seattle 36 Denver 31

 

 

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I like your Browns optimism. All the national writers have us dead & buried along with Oakland & Dallas.

 

I have a hunch the Browns might steal a win in the opener. I wouldn't bet the house on it, because we always find ways to lose in Pittsburgh. I think all the doom & gloom talk is going to motivate the Browns to a win.

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I'd appreciate your Brown optimism more, if it didn't come along with optimism about the Cowboys (who are due for a five win season), the 'Niners (who have losses on the defensive end that I don't think they can overcome easily) and the Bengals (who I don't have a real reason to be skeptical of, except for the fact that they didn't really do anything in the off-season and I see them losing a game or two more because of it).

 

I do like most of your list though. Buffalo in the rear is great news for Browns fans. :D

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Zombo is usually spot on with the picks... Except for the browns. Always dangerously optimistic lol.

 

I like the Eagles better than he does- and I think the Niners are in big trouble on D with all the defections and suspensions.

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I'd appreciate your Brown optimism more, if it didn't come along with optimism about the Cowboys (who are due for a five win season), the 'Niners (who have losses on the defensive end that I don't think they can overcome easily) and the Bengals (who I don't have a real reason to be skeptical of, except for the fact that they didn't really do anything in the off-season and I see them losing a game or two more because of it).

 

I do like most of your list though. Buffalo in the rear is great news for Browns fans. :D

 

I hear you guys on the Niners, I gave them a definite downgrade from last year, but I see Arizona and St. Louis declining in that division as well, which turned a 9-7 type season to 10-6 and in and out of the playoffs in the first round for me. I considered Atlanta and Detroit for that spot as well, and Washington too, because I think they'll be improved.

 

Dallas, with all of their offensive weapons I think they'll score more than they give up, I don't think going from 8-8 to 9-7 is a stretch, the key to that division for me is that I think the Giants are in real trouble and find the Eagles to be over-rated, just my opinion, so it came down to Dallas over Washington.

 

The Bengals ... trust me, I don't want them to be good, but when I look up and down their roster I see nothing but talented depth. If the wheels come off I'll be the first one toasting the occasion.

 

Zombo

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The Great Zomboni Ranks Them

 

1. Seattle Seahawks … I never pick repeat champions. Until now.

2. Denver Broncos … Improved D means SB Rematch.

3. New England Patriots … Cakewalk division leads to Brady joining Manning atop AFC again.

4. New Orleans Saints … Brees and gang will be powerful force in NFC.

5. Green Bay Packers … Rodgers will still be lighting up scoreboards.

6. Chicago Bears … High-Powered Bears will entertain but fall short.

7. Indianapolis Colts … More weapons than rest of division combined

8. San Francisco 49ers … Harbaugh’s boys will lose paces with Seattle but beat up the weak.

9. Cleveland Browns … Young Browns will ride dominant defense to surprising heights.

10. Cincinnati Bengals … Talented Bungles still can’t get to the next level.

11. Dallas Cowboys … If Romo stays healthy they are the toast of the East this year.

12. Atlanta Falcons … solid team that will resume winning ways

13. Washington Redskins … Lots of talent on the roster, Gruden gives them a spark.

14. Detroit Lions … Offense could be scary, but something always holds them back

15. San Diego Chargers … Good enough to grab that Wild Card again

16. Philadelphia Eagles … I see defenses catching up with Chip’s schemes.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers … Once proud franchise is now the face of mediocrity, 8-8 again.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers … solid team this year but nowhere to go in tough NFC.

19. Arizona Cardinals … Talented but mistake prone team takes a step back.

20. Kansas City Chiefs … This team could go in any direction … I’ll pick down.

21. Baltimore Ravens … some surprising holes for the retooling Ratbirds

22. New York Jets … Quarterback performance will be their downfall.

23. Jacksonville Jaguars … Young Jags make a major move in their division

24. Carolina Panthers … Lack of weapons bite them in the buttocks

25. Minnesota Vikings … Free Adrian Peterson!

26. Houston Texans … Won’t be an overnight job for O’Brien

27. St. Louis Rams … Rough road with a backup QB.

28. New York Giants … Ugly ending for Coughlin

29. Miami Dolphins … Tannehill fails to turn the corner.

30. Tennesee Titans … Gonna be a big job for Whisenhutt to get this headed back up.

31. Oakland Raiders … Failure to launch once again for troubled franchise.

32. Buffalo Bills … E.J. Manuel sets them back a year.

 

 

The Great Zomboni Predicts them

 

AFC

 

New England* 12 - 4

NY Jets 7-9

Miami 5-11

Buffalo 3-13

 

Cleveland* 10-6

Cincinnati* 10-6

Pittsburgh 8-8

Baltimore 7 - 9

 

Indy * 11 - 5

Jax 7-9

Hou 5-11

Tenn 4-12

 

Denver * 12-4

San Diego* 9-7

Kansas City 7-9

Oakland 4-12

 

NFC

 

Dallas* 9-7

Wash 9-7

Philly 8-8

NY Giants 5-11

 

 

Green Bay* 11 - 5

Chicago * 11-5

Detroit 9-7

Minnesota 5-11

 

New Orleans* 11-5

Atlanta 9-7

Tampa Bay 7-9

Carolina 6-10

 

Seattle* 13-3

San Francisco* 10-6

Arizona 7-9

St. Louis 5-11

 

AFC Wild Card Round

Indy over San Diego

Cleveland over Cincinnati

 

NFC Wild Card Round

Green Bay over San Francisco

Chicago over Dallas

 

AFC Divisional Round

Denver over Cleveland

New England over Indy

 

NFC Divisional Round

Seattle over Chicago

New Orleans over Green bay

 

AFC Championship

Denver over New England

 

NFC Championship

Seattle over New Orleans

 

Super Bowl

Seattle 36 Denver 31

 

 

I don't think I can take another defeat by Denver in the playoffs.

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And the Steelers. He is such a puss, last year he bet me the Browns would finish 10 spots ahead of the Steelers and I told him the Steelers would most likely finish 10 spots ahead of the Browns and just like everything else he does regarding the Browns, he was wrong and I was right...................but being the first class puss that he is, he won't fess up or pay up.

 

Browns will finish roughly 20 spots lower

 

Cowboys will finish about 10 spots lower

 

Steelers will finish at least 7 spots higher

 

Actually, I have nailed the Steelers the last two years, and I will nail them again ... 8-8.

 

Zombo

--Like taking candy from a Baby.

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I can't figure out if you are brain injured or simply a bald face liar.......I guess it really doesn't matter

 

P.S. I looked it up and no...you didn't nail it last year ....you had the Steelers finishing 7-9 and 22nd in the league. You had the Browns finishing 10-6 and 10th in the league.

 

Well, I certainly have no reason to ever "lie" on a football board, so I must be picking pretty good for a brain-injured person:

 

2012 Prediction: Steelers 7-9 Result: Steelers 8-8

2013 Prediction: Steelers 7-9 Result: Steelers 8-8

2014 Prediction Steelers 8-8 Result: ???

 

Anytime I can come within one game of predicting a team's record from the beginning of the season, I consider that a success.

 

I may have my heart involved with my Brownies ... but nobody knows the Steelers better than me. No one.

 

Enjoy a third consecutive year without a winning season.

 

Zombo

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 11:38 AM

Formerly Sane, on 06 Sept 2013 - 11:25 AM, said:snapback.png

 

Oh no ... Internet Bettor!

 

OK, see you in january.

 

Zombo

 

 

Above is where you took my bet. Will you go back and edit it or delete it like the puss that you are?

 

 

"Oh no .., Internet Bettor" means "Lol, what are you, 12?"

 

So, what did I bet you, what were the terms?

 

Zombo

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I, too, am tempted to quote a very long post in its entirety so I can post a one-line response, but I won't...

 

Z, many of your trends seem right, e.g., NFC 14 wins better than the AFC, and six of the bottom ten slots belong to the AFC.

 

Others? Not so much, e.g., five of top ten are AFC.

 

The most glaring difference I have is with your NFCE evaluation. Aside from Philly I don't see an 8-8 or better team. I think Philly wears that division out again, even if Foles slumps compared to the year he posted in 2013. We agree on the use of the word "toast" for Jerry's kids... just not upon it's meaning. The 'Boys will score, but get outscored regularly. WSH is in trouble at the QB spot. NYG looks simply abysmal.

 

Only question I have is who is the home team when we beat Cinci in the WC game?

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My only contention with this list, is that the Vikings are going to be really good (dominant offense) this year.

 

They are one of those teams where I thought "hmm ... maybe I should take a deeper look at them". Mainly because I think both Green Bay and Chicago are going to be very good and Detroit will win their share too ... and then there's Matt Cassell. Eh.

 

Zombo

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Zombo- 10-6?? I got to like the eternal optimist. LOL

So I'll join you. Before he is here more than 2 years JM will eat his snickers and be the JFF the Browns would really like to see.

 

Petine is being coy about whether we will see him this Sunday. I like that the Steelers are forced to prepare for both the pocket passer and the pistol.

 

Zombo

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They are one of those teams where I thought "hmm ... maybe I should take a deeper look at them". Mainly because I think both Green Bay and Chicago are going to be very good and Detroit will win their share too ... and then there's Matt Cassell. Eh.

 

Zombo

 

Yeah, but living up here in St. Paul, I get all the local skinny. And they are looking very good offensively in the preseason (yeah I know Lions 4-0 PS and 0-16), but Cassell looks legit actually (so does Bridgewater).

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It's funny, after about 12 beers the night the schedule was announced, I had the Browns at 12-3-1.

 

Now I'm not too optimistic, just protect the home turf so our fans have something to look forward to. I think we will struggle on the road, we're a young team.

 

I see the usual Steelers debate going on here, and I don't know what to think. Shazier is a stud, and Big Ben is still dangerous. I look for Sunday's game to be a close one, we may be able to take it.

 

Sadly, Browns 6-9-1 and I hope I'm wrong as hell.

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 11:38 AM

Formerly Sane, on 06 Sept 2013 - 11:25 AM, said:snapback.png

 

Oh no ... Internet Bettor!

 

OK, see you in january.

 

Zombo

 

 

Above is where you took my bet. Will you go back and edit it or delete it like the puss that you are?

 

i call bullshit. no where does it say anything about zombo taking a bet. see you in january means his predictions will be true and the browns will have a better record. of course that didn't happen but no where in that post is there any agreement on any bet.

 

get off that already.

 

we'll see who pays or not when you're sending me a six pack at the end of the season.

 

oh btw what happened to going to trump tower for a biz meeting and meeting up for a drink? i guess trump flew into to meet you at your trailer park, huh?

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I question your knowledge of the Steelers since you choose them to lose every week and, on average that makes you wrong 9-10 times out of 16. But the better question is why you think you know your hated nemesis so well? Are you a closet Steeler fan who writes comedy here just as many have suspected for years? This could also explain your comedic predictions for the Browns......it's all a spoof!

 

If you are the brain injured man you eluded to, I sympathize as I am the legal guardian for my best friend who is brain injured. But I think you are just a "look at me" fuckwad.

 

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

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  • 3 months later...

Homer with the Browns prediction. They are lucky to win 6 games this year with no offense.

 

Cowboys have possibly the worst defense ever to assemble onto a football field in 60 years. They are lucky to win 8 games this year.

 

I see the Colts and Atlanta as being sleeper picks. Niners and Broncos will be let-downs.

 

And, surprisingly ... look at who the guy giving me shit about the Cowboys pick was!

 

Zombo

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No need to be defensive, I nailed the Cowboys, you didn't.

 

Offensive weapons galore. You way underestimated the defense, kudos to Zombo

 

Here are my picks again:

 

New England* 12 - 4 Nailed it, A+
NY Jets 7-9 They finished 4-12 and in last, so C
Miami 5-11 They finished 8-8, but got third place right, so B
Buffalo 3-13 I guess I correctly predicted they would not make the playoffs D
Cleveland* 10-6 This was attainable in December so ... B-
Cincinnati* 10-6 Correctly picked Wild card, second place and half a game off ... A
Pittsburgh 8-8 Three lucky bounces from nailing this one ... B-
Baltimore 7 - 9 Three games off again B-
Indy * 11 - 5 Nailed it, A+
Jax 7-9 Thought there would be more progess C
Hou 5-11 Surprised there was so much progress C
Tenn 4-12 Pretty bad that they only won half of my prediction, but still A-
Denver * 12-4 Nailed it A+
San Diego* 9-7 Nailed it with the exception of it being good enough for a Wild Card A-
Kansas City 7-9 Flip it around B
Oakland 4-12 They were actually 3-13, but that's still an A
Dallas* 9-7 Took a lot of shit for picking them to win division. A lot of shit. Gonna look those guys up B
Wash 9-7 I think I knew this was going to be a bad pick. D
Philly 8-8 They were two games better, but correctly missed the playoffs B
NY Giants 5-11 One game better, but third instead of last A-
Green Bay* 11 - 5 They were one game better, another correct division winner A
Chicago * 11-5 I apologize D
Detroit 9-7 Two games better, plus made playoffs B-
Minnesota 5-11 Two games better and not in last B
New Orleans* 11-5 At least I'm not the only one who whiffed on them. C-
Atlanta 9-7 Coach getting fired makes me fell better about this one C
Tampa Bay 7-9 Yikes, they were much worse than I imagined C-
Carolina 6-10 They won one more game than I thought ... but finished first! B-
Seattle* 13-3 One game off, another divison winner nailed A
San Francisco* 10-6 Two games off and a playoff whiff B-
Arizona 7-9 Four games off and a payoff whiff C-
St. Louis 5-11 One game off A
6 out of 8 division winners correct
7 out of 12 playoff teams correct
Best Picks: New England, Denver and Indy with exact records
Worst picks: Buffalo, Washington and Chicago are 5 or more off
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Not defensive, just bored. Ill give you credit for the Cowboys pick. You were homerish with your Browns tho. Like i said, not bad with your predictions.

 

Homerish? If Mack doesn't get hurt (and they don't switch QBs at the end) 10-6 could have easily happened.

 

Zombo

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Id say the Red were clearly wrong predictions. Not a bad job tho.



The Great Zomboni Ranks Them



1. Seattle Seahawks … I never pick repeat champions. Until now.


2. Denver Broncos … Improved D means SB Rematch.


3. New England Patriots … Cakewalk division leads to Brady joining Manning atop AFC again.


4. New Orleans Saints … Brees and gang will be powerful force in NFC.


5. Green Bay Packers … Rodgers will still be lighting up scoreboards.


6. Chicago Bears … High-Powered Bears will entertain but fall short.


7. Indianapolis Colts … More weapons than rest of division combined


8. San Francisco 49ers … Harbaugh’s boys will lose paces with Seattle but beat up the weak.


9. Cleveland Browns … Young Browns will ride dominant defense to surprising heights.


10. Cincinnati Bengals … Talented Bungles still can’t get to the next level.


Actually, I think Z's prediction was pretty spot on here.


11. Dallas Cowboys … If Romo stays healthy they are the toast of the East this year.


12. Atlanta Falcons … solid team that will resume winning ways


13. Washington Redskins … Lots of talent on the roster, Gruden gives them a spark.


14. Detroit Lions … Offense could be scary, but something always holds them back


15. San Diego Chargers … Good enough to grab that Wild Card again


16. Philadelphia Eagles … I see defenses catching up with Chip’s schemes.


I think these two ...Chargers/Eagleswere pretty good predictions. He had them 15/16....i.e. just falling short of playoffs....that was also spot on.


17. Pittsburgh Steelers … Once proud franchise is now the face of mediocrity, 8-8 again.


18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers … solid team this year but nowhere to go in tough NFC.


19. Arizona Cardinals … Talented but mistake prone team takes a step back.


20. Kansas City Chiefs … This team could go in any direction … I’ll pick down.


21. Baltimore Ravens … some surprising holes for the retooling Ratbirds


22. New York Jets … Quarterback performance will be their downfall.


23. Jacksonville Jaguars … Young Jags make a major move in their division


24. Carolina Panthers … Lack of weapons bite them in the buttocks


25. Minnesota Vikings … Free Adrian Peterson!


26. Houston Texans … Won’t be an overnight job for O’Brien


27. St. Louis Rams … Rough road with a backup QB.


28. New York Giants … Ugly ending for Coughlin


29. Miami Dolphins … Tannehill fails to turn the corner.


30. Tennesee Titans … Gonna be a big job for Whisenhutt to get this headed back up.


31. Oakland Raiders … Failure to launch once again for troubled franchise.


32. Buffalo Bills … E.J. Manuel sets them back a year.

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Homerish? If Mack doesn't get hurt (and they don't switch QBs at the end) 10-6 could have easily happened.

 

Zombo

10-6 definetly happens if mack doesn't get hurt....also if somehow they could have suspended pothead the rest of the season...hoyer was at his best when we had mack in there...running game was very good...his playactions worked to perfection...well, almost perfection...and all these analysts saying how much better we were going to be when gordon returned...yeah right...we were better off when hoyers gameplan had gabriel, and hawkins involved..we got worse when gordon came back because he was lazy and stupid...bad combo....so we end the season almost as bad as last yr...i know we had 3 more wins than last yr but somehow i think this season was just as bad because we collapsed again losing 5 of 6 and now we have no qb...would have been better if we won 5 out of the last 6 and have a qb to look foward to next yr...

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