Speed Racer Review - Topic Powered by eve community

Speed Racer
Warner Bros
PG 13 135 min

OK gang, I realize I need to stay as current and mainstream as possible.
I understand too that my boy Mamet’s film isn’t likely to be a box office smashe, but what can I say? I get obsessive at times.
So while every fiber of my being rebelled at the notion of going to see SPEED RACER, I forced myself to read the numbers, sucked it up and told myself that I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised before.
You remember the Japanese animation hit SPEED RACER right?
Be honest; it’s one of the worst cartoons in the world, right?
I mean this series made the storylines on Clutch Cargo (for you old guys) seem like Shakespeare.
So who knows, I thought, this could actually be a lot cooler with good old American production values driving the bus.
The Japanese are a brilliant and innovative people but don’t forget that along with the cool electronics they’ve also given the world GODZILLA and Karaoke.
‘Nuff said.
So just in case you may have used the logic that “Most great TV shows turn into bad movies. Conversely, bad TV shows would become great movies” I’ll spare you the suspense.
SPEED RACER, though not technically a quarter mile race, is a real drag.
At two hours and fifteen minutes it also sucks for a long time.
And it’s really loud. So? Well if you take the kids, say for punishment, you’ll not be able to sleep through it. But you will wish you did as they pad the actual ten-minute plot with a hundred and fifteen minutes of noise, cheesy video game car races and really ugly computer generated graphics.
Basically the racing world is controlled by big evil corporations, always a good target of the movie studios that are ironically enough big evil corporations.
After older brother Rex Racer’s untimely and suspicious death, Speed devotes his life to the grand honor of auto racing. The corporations don’t like that kind of integrity so the battle is on.
It consists of boring races pitting Speed against the cheating villains followed by a boring speech about family or honor. Repeat that sequence three or four times and we’re out.

I did find a few minor things that weren’t actually horrible.
The cast isn’t bad at all, and star Emile Hirsch really does look just like his cartoon counterpart. Sidekick slash love interest Christina Ricci looks much less creepy than usual and the annoying little kid Spritle (Paulie Litt) is right on the money. Or should I say right on the monkey? Sorry.
As the parents you’ll be embarrassed for real actors John Goodman and Susan Sarandon, but no one can blame them.
They just took the check.
The bright colors and morphing of CG animation do look cool for about five minutes but then become a mere pain in the ass for the rest of the film.
So skip thin one, dear friends, unless boring loud and stupid are your cup of, uh, oil.
D

WSS
westsidesteve@aol.com

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The show doesn't get any better.
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Posts: 5322 | Location: Norton Ohio USA | Registered: Mon September 15 2003

Furnier

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I grew up dashing home from Grade School to catch this show on good ole WUAB. It was a daily routine and a rite of my youth.

When I saw the trailers for this I was happy....then pissed off. It's the Mach frickin' 5.... NOT the Mach 6. Is this a good reason to NOT see a movie? It is for me.

DWJ

Posts: 566 | Location: Mammoth, Arizona | Registered: Fri September 12 2003

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